38 +2. have had awful contractions (painful. diff than braxton hicks I had previous weeks). due august 17 but august 14 is the anniversary of my nieces sudden passing, so i have tons of anxiety with this due date possibly coinciding.

Had tiny bit of blood two weeks ago, think i lost a huge part of mucus plug recently, and got checked today. Cervix was fine. I was excited to hear “yay you’re dilated!” and .....

nothing. cervix is CLOSED. Dr. said I was maybe 50% effaced and that I definitely could be having real contractions, but no dilation yet. Oh and she’s measured 3 weeks ahead every ultrasound, so she’s big, long and gotta be cramped in there.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE to have such low pressure and super sharp pains, 3-5 mins apart for hours, and nothing?! I get it, baby comes when she’s ready, but this is so frustrating and defeating. Oh, and policy at my hospital is no inductions for FTM til 40+2.

Anyone else have these moments of frustration?! I am so over this. I’m not sleeping, so much pain, trying everything and don’t know if I can go two more weeks.