What's wrong with me? 😭

Question

We've been married for 2 years, together for 4. We're both in our mid 20's. I've only ever been in one other relationship and ... we had intense chemistry. Not just sexual, but we 'sensed' eachother it's like we had a different type of connection, we just felt super close. When me and my husband met we shared no feelings like that whatsover. We were super compatible, but both felt blank about eachoter. We love eachother deeply, but both feel nothing. No matter how hard we both tried, even while cuddling or having sex it's like we never formed that connection. It's not passion, it's not lust. It's the ability to feel close. Obviously since we are married we are very close, but don't share that deep connection that I had with my ex. It's more like we are roomates that share our last name and have sex. I feel dead on the inside, so does he. We have an amazing marriage, deeply love eachoter, but hace 0 connection 🤔
My husband is a 10/10. He's very attractive by anyone's standards. My ex wasn't, so attraction isn't the reason.
Which is why I always thought that I had that with my ex since we were best friends since childhood and got together in our teens so it's probably just hormones.
Well, last week a stranger asked to use my phone. The second I gave it to him I felt that connection again. With a damn stranger! It's like I felt safe and warm and close to him and protected. I don't even know how to describe it. It's like a warm feeling of protection and closeness. The stranger wasn't my type, I wasn't interested on cheating my husband or anything like that, but couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I felt a connection there. He wasn't even wearing perfume so it wasn't a manly scent that 'played my mind'.
Please tell me what's this about! I didn't do anything bad, I would never ever cheat, I just want to know what happened.
And what do I do about it?

Answer

Idk but idk how you can be deeply in love and simultaneously feel nothing for each other. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Personally i wouldnt continue this relationship.. i couldnt. I couldnt have married him in the first place.

Answer

I don't know how to help you. Maybe talk to a professional. I don't think it's true love what you have with your husband since you lack feelings for eachoter. How can you be happy if you're both feeling dead? I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know it's possible to bring back passion, but since you both tried and failed and you didn't even have that at the beggining, I doubt it's possible. Decide for yourself, what matters most to you.
I wish you all the best ❤

Answer

I think almost everyone can put themselves into a mind set that they want something more intense when they are in a relationship or married. I also think all of us have had that one person that sticks out where everything was so passionate and intense. But I think it sticks out because the relationship didn't last past that phase. If you would of stayed in that relationship longer those intense feelings probably would have diminished. Marriage is a gift. I would try to focus more on that then thinking about what you once had :)

Answer

You never should have gotten married if there's no spark.is your cousin a few years will end up divorced you'll get tired of nothing.

Answer

If you both feel “dead” like you say, you shouldn’t be married or ever have gotten married in the first place

Answer

Why did you marry your husband if you didn’t have that spark? Sure there’s plenty of people you can be compatible with, but you’re not going to have that spark or connection with everyone. But on the same note, everyone you have that spark or connection with you may not be compatible with. You can love someone and not be in love with them, and it really sounds like you’ve never even been in love with your husband.

Answer

I had that with an ex. It was the craziest connection/chemistry. For us, I don't think it was the right time and neither of us were ready. I am married now to someone else and in a semi similar situation. No interest in cheating, but wish I felt that spark with my husband. We had it in the beginning, but it was not as intense as with the ex. But I do love him and we have our first on the way! Now it's time to focus on our two becoming three. No time for the past!

What's wrong with me? 😭

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