Is it normal to buy our daughter this many toys?

Question

Growing up I often didn’t get any toys until my birthday or Christmas. My husband growing up didn’t get presents at all.
Our daughter is almost 5, and we’re pregnant with our second baby. I am seeking advice on how to make sure our daughter doesn’t become a “spoiled brat”. 
Every time we go to the store she doesn’t get a toy, but I would say at least once a month or a few times a month we will order or buy her something. Books, clothes, toys.
If she likes a big toy, we’ll buy it for her instead of waiting for her birthday or Christmas. Throughout the year we buy her big items like train table, bike, dollhouses, etc that I’m beginning to wonder if we should wait until holiday time to make sure she really wants it.
We go to Disney a few times a month usually (pre corona) and since I’ve been cleaning and going through her toys, I’ve come to realize we have bought her a toy every single time we’ve gone. We went to a bookstore yesterday and bought some books and she insisted on being able to pick out a book herself. My husband didn’t want to say no as we all love books.
I’m now worried that what we’ve been doing becuse we didn’t have it growing up could make her one of those snotty kids you see in the store having a meltdown for toys all the time. Have you experienced this? What can we do differently from now on and with baby #2?

Answer

I think it is a bit much, and I’d definitely lessen it as she gets older. Or have the “add a toy, give a toy away” mentality.

Answer

My daughter is 2 and I have a 2 week old. We don’t get her a lot of toys, infact we rarely do. We don’t like clutter and having a ton of stuff laying around and she doesn’t need it. She actually plays with toys when she has less available instead of dumping them out. We have bought her toys  as her developmental needs have changed. We won’t need to for her brother. We will pick her up new play dough, markers, and other arts/crafts things as needed but otherwise she will get something for her birthday and Christmas. When people ask what she wants we encourage them to get an experience gift for her.

Answer

If she's not throwing a fit every time for something at 5, I dont think this would really be an issue. Perhaps have her go through a pile of toys with you and pick things to save for new baby/give away. 
I'd never say no to books, unless they aren't being read and then I would say let's give some to local library first. Give to get.

Answer

My family if we wanted to get a new toy we actually had to get a rid of 3 old ones before we could get new ones.my mother also had if she sees a toy we no longer play she'll actually put in a donation bin at the end of the year she'll take that Bin and donate it.throwing up that way I don't even like buying anything unless I need it.my parents taught us wants and needs . toys were want.

Answer

I’d say it’s pretty normal, but it’s too much. At least in my opinion. I used to get a ton of toys and new things as a kid and all it did was create so much clutter and trash. It’s a really negative thing. I’m trying to not give into consumerism so much. For the bigger toys, I’d definitely wait until a birthday or holiday. I think if you get her what she wants whenever she wants it, it will affect her later on when she’s learning how to save money. She’ll be so used to getting everything right away and won’t be able to deal with waiting until a better time. If you go out and buy books for yourself, I think its understandable to let her pick one out too. If you want her to have a new toy, maybe instead of buying a new one, you can try cycling them out. Every week or two, put a few toys out for her to play with. Then do a switch and refresh and bring out the other toys. So it feels new and different. You can also look into online/local toy trades so she can learn to give one of hers away and receive another.
I was “spoiled” as a kid, but I wasn’t a brat. So as long as you make sure she has a good attitude, I don’t think it’s too big of a deal though.

Answer

I hate clutter and crap. We buy a few high quality toys as we see the need, but focus mainly on experiences over things. Big gifts happen for Christmas or birthdays. I only have half his toys out at any given time and will trade them out every few weeks to keep things new and interesting. All you have to do is not buy the stuff. Stick to your shopping list and don’t go into the toy section when doing errands or the gift shop while at Disney.

Answer

With a baby on the way, she'll have to share things. That will help her feel less entitled, if that really is a problem.
But if she isn't throwing a fit, I wouldn't be worried about it at all. Showing love is different for everyone and if gift giving is one of your familys ways of doing that, thats fine. And books are always such a great gift.
Maybe when the baby comes you can go through her toys together to give to the baby.
Or she can help you buy something for the baby instead of for herself. Just mixing in some of those giving moments for her so it's not all about receiving and she can learn what it feels like to give.
She could also be apart of donating old toys or maybe even help running a garage sale with them and she can get a small gift with the money so she learns about working for items.

Answer

I had very few toys as a kid. We would get stuff for Christmas/birthday—which was combined because my birthday is in December. But because I had few toys, I always had a really great imagination. 
If kids have too much stuff, it’s almost like it limits them from thinking outside of what they have. I could sit and play with the few toys I had for hours at a time. The kids I watch now have so many toys. They don’t touch hardly any of them and their imagination is extremely limited. 
Aside from that, they need to learn the difference between instant gratification and long term fulfillment.

Answer

Everyone’s families are different. My husband and I grew up with hand me downs and not getting toys or candy just because we were grocery shopping. We practice that as adults now too. 
Our son is 2 and we rarely buy him anything that isn’t a holiday or birthday gift. He’s never gotten a gift shop type item from any place we’ve visited and he doesn’t get toys when we go shopping. He is handed down a lot and gifted even more. Many of which are still boxed up in the closet because we don’t unbox them all at once. We just had our second child a couple weeks ago and she is need of pretty much nothing other than some clothes (although I much prefer our saved boy clothes to almost all girl clothes so I just use those). We’re going to have a hard time giving people ideas for her because our son’s toys are all developmental or neutral and he takes good care of them so they last. Honestly, his favorite things to play with are emptied and cleaned food containers (spices, malt powder, noodle box, etc).

Answer

As long as you as the parents are controlling what your child can and cannot have, and not the child demanding it, then no, there is no such thing as having too many toys

Is it normal to buy our daughter this many toys?

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