My house lost power do to the hurricane. My husband has to work from home so we are staying with my mothers until the power comes back on. Here is my issue I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s been almost a week, thought it would be a few days at most. I love my mom just I have so many resentful feelings towards her. My childhood wasn’t ideal because she refused to just settle down.

I know my feelings are resurfacing because I’m just found out I’m pregnant with my second. The last time I was pregnant my mom was supportive but again not consistently. My pregnancy was unplanned so I needed a lot of support. During that time I was still living at home with her then partner. The plan was for us to live there with the baby until we could get ourselves together. She decided towards the end of my pregnancy that she was gonna get married to a man she just started dating two months prior. She right away moved in with this man leaving me and my partner to just live with her ex. Mind you her and her ex owned the house together. Fast forward to after I had the baby she gets married it’s Christmas time and she pressures me into bring the baby to her new husbands house to meet his family. These are complete strangers. She made me feel worthless because I didn’t want to come over with my week old baby to meet strangers. As a side note she got married a week and half after I gave birth and expected me to be there for everything. I had an emergency c section.

I’m doing better in terms of not letting her manipulate me into things just because she wants them. I don’t allow that’s shit anymore. My problem is that I can’t be around her for too long or my feelings and resentment rear up again. Now even more so because I’m pregnant again. I haven’t even told her because again it becomes about her. When my cousin was living with us and became pregnant my mom decided that was the time for her to become a lesbian. Yup that’s what happened. Literally told the family a month before my cousin was due.

I just needed to vent. This is only a tip of the ice berg.