Its going to be a bit long but bare with me , ill give you a background before i start the actual reason to this post.

As a child (9yo) i had been touched by mom moms ex Boyfriend , i never said anything to anyone because i was scared.

At 10 my brother would lure me to the restroom he’d be naked and would pull out porn magazines and show me it , i honestly had no clue what i was looking at but a bunch of naked women . He once took me inside the bath and all I remember was him laying in the tub .

Another would be my cousin , since i was younger and the house was a bit squished and my aunt and uncle and cousins live there . i had to sleep with my dad so at times my cousin would come to my dads room in the morning while my dad was asleep the whole time and pull his private area out and grab my hand and basically jack it off. I was scared so i hd to pretend the whole time that i was sleeping , it continued for a while . But it got even more uncomfortable when he started to get on top of me and pretend he was doing me while i had clothes on , i didnt know whom to tell.....

Fast foward to years later when my mom had cancer....

My Siblings and I honestly were never that close , ive been and had to grow up quick because well my mom passed away to cancer when i had just turned 15 & from then on I really didnt have that Parent to really guide me .

I had my dad but he was those type of mexican parents that just always worked , to himself & helped me with my essentials but not the Talking with one another or even holding a conversation it was well always akward .

With that being the background heres the reason of this post : ( sorry to jump to diffrent things but im trying my best to tell you in detail and it making sense )

I live with my dad at this moment , it was my kids , my uncle ( whom left to mexico for a few ) and my brother and his girlfriend.

Me and my brothers girlfriend had already bumped heads and almost fought due to her coming banging on my door like she paid some type of rent there ( which she didnt ) and my kids were in the room and well as a mother i dont take that nor will i allow someone to come at me in my own dads house something my dad never even does . With all that comotion happening they told me to calm down and i did and i waiting on my brother because throughout all that time he had left to the store , well im waiting on him and he gets here and im talking with him letting him know the situation and she comes storming to us screaming saying i dont need to tell him nothing because she already told him and well my first instinct was to go off because that wasnt unessesary and it was already a bit heated . So that happend .

(And to point out i did tell myself that i didnt need to get that way but i was fed up.)

Well that dies down and a few days later shes back home again...

After that i decided to go with my SO to austin due to the fact that it was too much and we just come back for the weekend back to his moms and that’ll avoid problems.

Everything was good for a few weeks , but my little one had catched covid so we had to go back home and quarantine so our schedule went back to being home and not going with my SO . Honestly i could say everything was OK....

Until

....Last week tuesday .

My brother and his girlfriend got into it because his ex wife had picked him up to see his daughters and she got mad or what ever that was their issues .

My SO didnt have to go to work till the following day so we went out for tacos and a movie for the kids . Before leaving i out i put my sheet to dry . When we get back my sheetes were still wet , that pissed me off because 1) it ALWAYS dries & 2)even the air filter was clean . Plus why the hell out of all days would this happen and i know its a stupid ass reason to get mad but i hate when my things get touched.

Well i call my dad let him know the problem ( because this is his house ) and had to call my brother as well let him know because this isnt just a coincidence. So...everything is chill we watching the movie.

Next thing you know his girlfriend storms screaming on the phone literally right when shes passing my room saying “ so what was this that i did ” i got up closed my room door behined me and i told her you know what the fuck you did and i have had it ! And well the rest ended up fighting .

Cops get called and well nothing happend because it was mutual combat .

( THAT HAPPENS )

Following day in the afternoon my Oldest brother we will call him ( apple ) & My sister we will call her ( Muppet ) come over and i already knew what this was because my family always done this where they all get together talk about unnecessary things that dont involve them but they always wanna be involved and attack me .

Sure enough right when me and My brother that lives there were talking with my dad it had got a bit loud and apple and muppet suddenly want to get a water and than as im saying something like quit lying Apple wants to start getting in my face saying i need to shut the fuck up , this aint my house , that my dad aint my dad and that im a charity case and all this dumb nonsense. My sister muppet she comes screaming at me telling me i need to shut the fuck up and it was they all came to attack i was over with it cause apple didnt stop attacking me he kept on once i told him to mind his buisness and stop attacking me just because he feels guilty to what he did to me and thats when it was over everyone was hush mouth but i been told everyone but i was called the liar...

Well all that comotion happend and my dad went out side and talked with me just teling me to go out for a bit hes not kicking me out but to go out it was already night....

I was crying my heart out and he couldn’t help but laugh and it hurt because the day i told him what my brother did to me all he could say to me was “ why didnt you say something ”... so it hurt he just kept on with a nice tone like just go ahead and go come back in a bit....well it was alot but dont want to make this story to long as it is....

But i feel betrayed because they always do this to me where they attacked & now they are using the card my dad aint my dad so i have no right to be there basically...

He isnt my biological , but that man raised me so he is my dad hes on my birth certificate he paid childsupport to my mom and all ! But i feel so alone , plus my SO is also starting things as well arguing and all and i just feel so betrayed by everyone.

This was the time i knew i was ready to turn myself to god.....

Ladies i feel so hopeless, i miss my mom i wish i had my mom....im only 24 i feel so alone....i have my kids to look after i want to stay strong for them...its the most difficult time of my life but im pushing through and beating the odds and staying positive but its like some much one can take...