*trigger warning*

My daughter is 1.5 years old and was an amazing baby, but I had a truly terribly pregnancy, I was hospitalised the whole time. In October of last year, j became pregnant and due to health complications I had to get a termination. I have been deeply depressed since, and have never felt such strong regret.

I can't help but want to try again now for another child. I feel like it will bring back my happiness. I am so down that I should have a second child right now, and I don't.

However, I am also very content with how things are right now. I enjoy being able to have a drink, and that my daughter is so fun and easy. She sleeps from 6pm to 6am and is a very good child.

I just don't know what to do. Opinions?