Being A Thief

When my husband and I argue, he calls me a thief. This upsets me because I never stole anything in my life so I dont like it. And ever since his brother came to stay with us and claimed he had something stolen from him that he couldn't find, my husband has been constantly on this theif thing with me. First it was a joke that he claimed at first he never said. Only later, to apologize and say it is a joke.

But now everytime we are mad at each other he calls me "a thief". Yet, his brother had something missing from him at work and not talking about me. I'm getting really sick of it. And it causes resentment. My husband says that he is doing it to hurt me for whatever I say to him, then he says it's all in my head and whatever I think about, I believe. Then he apologizes for hurting my feelings then claims he would never call me any names or he doesn't mean it and I have it wrong.

I feel like why bring his brother situation into our relationship? If nobody called me a thief (his brother), why is he keep referring to me as one? I'm getting ready to divorce him because I cannot take it.

I'm wondering if my husband maybe narcissistic as well but I'm not sure. He just tends to say something then pretend he's never done it and I'm making it up and lying on him. Then he will apologize. Lots of mind games.

Will even pretend not to now what I am taking about, then tell what happened and how I'm wrong and need help.

Ex: one day I went off on him and accused him of cheating with our neighbor because the woman is nosey and in our business. I did this to make him mad since he keeps calling me a theif. The woman the next day claimed I was crazy, and when I told him, he told me that "it couldn't have happened because he knows women and someone would have told him about it and I'm insecure and wrong".

He tends to tell me that I never know something or understand it fully. And that I believe made up things in my head. Then he says "baby, you know I love you and dont think you are crazy". And he says whatever I tell him, he will tell me something to hurt me and everything comes back to me. I'm the bad one and he's the best husband.

He has also bruised my ribs before and he claims he didnt know, he did it because he was mad, it was an accident, happened 1 time. It never happened and he would never put his hands on me. I must have done it to myself.

I asked him why would I lie or hurt myself? He says he doesn't know.