Need help with disobedient/violent 4 year old..

Kennedy • Married to my soulmate since 7.4.2020!💍💞 We have a 4 year old son, who took a year and a half to conceive! We are expecting baby girl March 11th 2021 after 2 1/2 years of ttc with fertility treatments 💖

Has anyone experienced their 4 year old or close in age being EXTREMELY disobedient, violent, rude ? Like hitting hard when they do not get their way, when they’re asked to do something like clean up their room for example they get a bad attitude ( yell, scream, hit, slam doors, throw things at the parents, throw things at the ground to break them, smack themselves/ hit themselves, pull their hair) etc? I’m struggling so hard emotionally and mentally dealing with this with my son. It’s an everyday all day thing. There is no peace. Just anger and attitude. He’s violent.. I’ve tried everything I can do “punishment” wise. I’ve tried just talking through things, just time out, taking toys away as punishment, the silent treatment, onto whooping and everything. I just dont know what to do. I’m at a loss and I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown soon. My husband feels the same way. Our son only acts like this around us. This CANNOT be normal. The amount of violence, disobedience, inability to focus or do what he’s asked to do I mean I am just at a loss. PLEASE HELP.