I feel like I've been dealing this since my first baby was born, three years ago. I have a three year old and a nine month old and constantly feel overwhelmed. Stressed. Can't relax and enjoy my babies. I'm too busy, working full time and dedicating all my at home time to keeping up the household. I snap at my kids and my husband, and then I feel extreme guilt. But I also feel sad that I have no time for me. I feel like I give it all to everyone else. Sometimes I feel like scratching my arms or have very brief thoughts of hurting myself in other ways. Just the baby crying can set me off. But I never ever have thoughts of hurting my babies or anyone else. Sometimes I'd rather check out and browse my phone than pay attention to my family (I don't, but just the thought of wanting a stupid cell phone over my kids makes me feel like crap).

I know I am ridiculous. I KNOW everyone else has the same struggles with balancing kids and work and sleep and their relationship.. I have moments where I can think logically and realize I am SO blessed and I'm motivated and energetic and fine. But the feeling can change in an instant. I love my kids but feel like I am not the best mom I can be for them.

I am not sure what to do. It seems so trivial, but it's really concerning me that I cannot get over this bump, and the things that sometimes go through my mind scare me.