Excitedly Terrified

So I've been TTC for 4 years and 7 months and I've never ever gotten those two pink lines. Back in February I was put on Metformin and my cycle has slowly become relatively normal. Last cycle I was starting to lose hope cause It'd been so long since we started this journey. But this Cycle.

I'm cautiously hopeful. I'm 4 days late on my period. I want to know so badly, I want to be pregnant so badly. But I'm so so so scared that I'll test and still not get that second line. Like I know I can test, but I'm so hopeful. Every day that goes by I'm relieved, but also waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting to go to the bathroom and be soaked with blood.

I've had super super light spotting for almost a week, like just a tint of pink when I wipe.

I've been fatigued and have had heartburn, but really haven't had any other symptoms other then the late period and the super light spotting.

I plan to test Friday or Saturday, I think if I am, the HCG will be high enough to get a positive. I'm just so scared that I'll get a negative and then all this hope that's holding me up will come crashing down and crush me like every month before.