Need to rant

Okay y’all .... another rant here....

It’s been an awful month. Year, really.

Next month, my man and I will officially have been trying to have a baby for a year. It’s a bit disheartening and really implanted into my head that this whole thing is going to take more time than we anticipated.

On top of that, I have pcos. For my mother, she had no problems getting pregnant, only with maintaining the pregnancy. So I can’t help but worry there’s something else there.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about it either. My family gets awkward or always wants to give opinions about things totally unrelated, I don’t have many friends... and yeah I can talk to my man about it, but there’s only so much I can say before he gets upset too, and I hate doing that to him. But keeping it all bottled up inside is really driving me crazy. All day long it’s just me trying to distract myself, to not check the dates, to not stress about it... Maybe I need to get a journal or something.

I went to the doctor recently for some pelvic pain. I have a large cyst on my left ovary that’s causing discomfort. I believe it ruptured yesterday. I had sever pain and cramps and wasn’t able to move at all for at least an hour. And I’m spotting now. I’m not sure if that’s from the cyst or ovulation though, as I ovulated almost a week ago.

I’m not sure. And that’s not even half of the stuff that’s happened this year.

I just know it’s been a lot. And I’m getting tired.

Thank you all for being lovely and supportive mommas and moms to be.

Baby dust to all....