My boyfriend and I have some major problems, but he has also been my best friend ever since the pandemic began. Before March, he didn’t seem super interested in me but I fell for him hard. He then lost his neurophysiologist job to Covid and his roommate made him move out. He was depressed. I was falling in love with him and also felt like I needed to be there for him when no one else would.

I feel torn because at times he is so wonderful. He will interact with my son. He is an amazing cook and will make meals for me. He is strong in so many areas where I am weak.

But I also feel like there are so many red flags. He has anger issues, has been through a lot of trauma, which I have a lot of compassion for. But he can be so hateful and at times have no regard for rules. He makes comments that concern me about other races. He has been very disrespectful towards me. He treats me like a child often and I sometimes feel like he views me as an animal when we have sex.

I feel like I am in a relationship with Jekyll and Hyde. I don’t know who he really is.

Last night I was feeling grumpy and tired after work, and I genuinely don’t know what I did wrong, but out of no where he yelled at me that I had thrown his keys away. I was so confused and shocked. I told him I hadnt, and tried to think of where they could be. He then grabbed me, hid my phone and refused to give it back, called my ex, and threatened that he would call the police.

I later found the keys in my car where he had forgotten them.

I stayed the night at a friends house...

I guess I already know the answers. But I just need some perspective. He said I am the worst person he’s ever known, that I have almost no mental capacity, and that I am fucking crazy.

I am broken and searching for answers. I love him so much but I want God’s will to be done. I never wanted to hurt him. I’ve gone through so much this year and am in so much pain. All I ever wanted to do was love him and make him feel valuable and wanted. I feel lost...