Hello all, I'm writing this post because I've been dealing with this for so long and I don't even know what to to anymore.

My children's father and I split about 8 years ago. He was extremely mentally, emotionally and physically abusive.

When I left I really did try to get him to just be better and we could work things out(I'm thankful at this point we didn't, I was so weak at the time and didn't even realize how bad things were) We had a court date for custody and the day before he came into the house I was staying in(my sister's) while just me and the kids were home and beat me up with his mom right there. My children were 4 and 7 at the time. His mother told me it was because I 'ran my mouth' (I was trying to get a hold of him because he was bringing my daughter to a doctor's appointment for sickness and she was going to be late to her appointment. He wouldn't answer just because..)

I called the police this time which I never did before but I thought to myself 'we're not together anymore, I'm not tolerating this' I didn't press charges but I wanted it documented and the next day at court I asked for a restraining order.

The judge granted the order for one year and also a 'non-violence' order for the kids.

This order has since expired. He has threatened me, swung at me and currently has a restraining order with another ex girlfriend after me. For some reason to renew an order of restraint you need numerous police documents? I am already raising the kids on my own and working full-time and trying to go back to school. He is in a new relationship with two more children and has also been abusive to his current. He rarely comes to get the kids and when he does it's on his time. He generally tries to manipulate every visit, ignoring texts/ calls, from the kids and me. It's court ordered that he arrives at 5 every other weekend and if he has work there are two appointed people. He's always late, sometimes doesn't show, or sometimes shows up the next day. A lot of times it's also I have to drop them off and pick them up because he doesn't have a ride or a car. My kids are much older now and are getting jobs and making plans. I just follow what I'm supposed to and have them home at 5:00 if he is 'supposed' to get them. Tonight they waited 4 hours and when he decided to show he waited 5 min in the driveway and only took one because the other was no longer ready.

My daughter no longer wants to have visits. My son only wants to go if my daughter does.

In my opinion I really don't think that they should have to go at all. Especially if I'm following a court order and he is not. Because it's 'their dad' He has all these rights? I just want him to be reliable and there. It breaks my heart for them. I'm thinking what about my kids' rights? And sanity? And my own? I've recently tried to contact an attorney, I don't know what else to do at this point. Any advice would be helpful.