Miscarrying as I type 😢

I just got a positive result on Friday and today after intense sex with my boyfriend I started bleeding. I have no pain but I see clots and I know exactly what’s going on. This happened to us in November of last year.

Perhaps my current situation doesn’t deserve a baby. I’m still married and I have a boyfriend. I have no plans on divorcing; neither does my husband. We were together 20 years before he told me to find a boyfriend (hubby is 20 years my senior and didn’t want to travel and cruise with me). I met my boyfriend two years ago and that’s exactly what we’ve been doing. Now my boyfriend and I live together with my daughter. My husband has been in my corner throughout this relationship. He has given great advice and come to the rescue when things have gotten bad. Anyway, my boyfriend was being a jerk all last week and I was going to move back home with my husband until I found out I was pregnant. Thought I’d give the boyfriend another chance. Well, I’m sure the baby’s gone now. I just picked my daughter up from my husband’s house and I broke down crying about the loss. He was so understanding and urged me to call our doctor (yes, we still have the same doctor smh). I love them both but in different ways. The baby would have further complicated my situation but I was willing to make it work. Maybe I never deserved this baby or the last. I don’t deserve sympathy because this is a situation I’ve created. I just don’t know what to do at this point.