I am 39 weeks pregnant. And if you know the enneagram I’m a 4 and my husband is a 7.

My husband often refers to me as something he has to “deal with” and says things like “I like who you are, I just also wish you were a different person,” or “you’re lucky you found me because no one else in the world would’ve put up with you this long.” Most of the time we have fun together and I’m sure he’s trying joke around and pick on me when he says those things and he thinks it’s funny but he says them so often I’m sure he also believes them to be true.

So I was feeling a little needy last night and insecure and asked him what he likes about me (it seems like I’m more of a chore than anything else) and why he even married me in the first place (I clearly disrupted his life and turned it into something that makes him very unhappy). And all he kept saying is “I don’t know.” Eventually he came up with he likes that we goof around and I make him laugh.

So now I’m hurt and 10x more insecure and he goes to sleep while I’m literally crying because my husband can easily list 10 things about me that are annoying and inconvenient but can’t for the life of him come up with one good thing to say about me.

Then this morning he gets up for work and I tell him that I’m feeling sad to which he responds with an incredulous “Why?!” Which was shocking to me and made me cry to which he responded with...

So now I’m REALLY hurt! And regret coming to him at all but I can’t hold back the tears so he calls me insane and starts watching tiktok videos. Now I tell him that he’s not being very nice and that I need him and to stop treating me that way so that I can come to him but he keeps telling me I’m stupid or retarded or an idiot. Sometimes I think he might have something wrong with him because he doesn’t seem to understand compassion. He says that he’s willing to leave me alone since I’m sad and that’s compassion.. even though what I need is for him to be there for me and to make me a priority.

Now he’s off to work after 45 minutes of fighting because he couldn’t take 5 minutes out of his morning to be kind to his wife.

Am I just a huge baby? What should I be doing differently besides hiding all of my feelings out of fear they might get hurt worse?

Broken bed

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