My Boyfriend’s Ex keeps talking shit about me and he can’t do anything about it

Hello everyone,

My boyfriend and I met last year when he was dating someone else and we kind of became really good friends because we had a lot in common. A few months in, I was starting to develop feelings for him but I suppressed it obviously. I spoke to his bestfriend who tried to help me get rid of my feelings and I genuinely tried to. Once his girlfriend and him fought and he told me that he wanted to break up wit her a lil before he met me because they were having some personal issues where she pretty much didn’t treat him right and he didn’t feel good in the relationship.

At some point they had a really big fight and didn’t speak to each other for a week. That same week I got drunk and he came to get me and I told him about how I felt because it would have just destroyed me if I hadn’t, and because it felt like deep down he wanted the same. However out of respect I told him I would get over it and just to give me some time and space away from him and it made sense too because he was going on a trip. When he came back, they fought again but I never interfered in it. A few days later they broke up. They mainly broke up because she never really had time for him and hung out with other guys more and all of that. It’s probably a good thing to mention that at the start of their relationship they made it clear that this relationship was just for fun and they would break up when he moved away for his education.

A week later he came over because I wanted to cheer him up and we were gonna watch a movie or something and eat and drink. I got tipsy and I decided to kiss him and not waste a min more because at that time he was supposed to leave in a few months to go elsewhere. Respecting their breakup though we didn’t actually start dating each other until a month after and now it’s been 10.5 months together and we love and cherish each other a lot.

Initially, the ex girlfriend called me a bunch of shit and spoke a lot of bad things to her friends AND our mutual friends, even calling me a whore. I didn’t mind any of these because I know it’s a normal human tendency to react this way as an ex and I wanted to respect it and not add fire to it. I did not tell my boyfriend any of the stuff she kept on saying for the first few months because I didn’t want to cloud his image of her. However, even 6-7 months later she kept on saying shit about stuff I was posting or blatantly called me out for “stealing” her bf to our mutual friend. She’s said a lot of other things as well.

My boyfriend was unaware of all this stuff until I finally told him then because I had enough of it.

He was under the illusion that she was okay with it because they still talk everyday and apparently she said we were cute or something to him but she talks mad shit about me and our relationship behind our backs. My boyfriend is a “avoid all conflict, pretend everything’s okay” kinda person. He cannot even confront her about the things she’s said about me and our relationship because it involves mutual friends and that I understand that. However the least he can do is stop talking to her on an everyday basis out of respect for me WITHOUT asking. He didn’t do that so I kindly asked him to but they still talk, it’s mostly funny memes and jokes and stuff.

I feel like if he can’t even take a stand for me out of respect now then how am I supposed to trust him later on to defend me ?

He’s otherwise a very loving boyfriend and always there for me and we love each other will all our hearts.

I don’t know how to feel about this.