What's wrong with me

So I'm a virgin " a girl" and I'm almost 20 but that's not sad or anything, it's just how my country is "u have to be a virgin until marriage" which is I'm not complaining about..

My boyfriend and i get pretty close and i love him so much and i love when we get so close together, he wants to touch me like put his hand on my leg or like.. Dive somewhat deeper and ngl i want him to.. But whenever he does it and let me remind u " i WANT it" i just start saying no no stop, while I'm literally dying for it.. I don't know why i do that but i keep rejecting him, and he being the great person he is, he just end up stopping, but when we get home "not together obv" i start texting him sexy stuff "just like a normal couple would do" and he gets confused .. I know he loves me, he's so understanding and Doesn't wanna rush me.. But i don't know what's wrong with me