All I ask is responsible drinking

Recently boyfriend and I have fought over his drinking because it increased. He came home and threw up in the shower (this wasn't the first time he's thrown up from drinking). It made me mad and I told him he's an adult, 42 years old, should be responsible especially since we have a child...

That was a month or 2 ago. This was my birthday weekend. I told him he could put off celebrating my bday till next weekend so he could go to his cousins bachelor party. The only thing I ask is that he doesn't drive drunk and drinks casually and not to drink till he pukes. I said when you feel its getting too much just slow down for awhile you can still have fun. I even made food for the party... we discussed driving and rides and I asked him how late he wanted to be out he said no later than midnight.

I call him just before 11pm and tell him there's raccoons in the barn. He says he'll be coming home soon and I said "oh just in time for my bday"(at midnight.. my birthday is today the 6th) he said I love you goodnight.

I was having alot of gas that made my stomach hurt and I had my period so I fell asleep before midnight because I thought I heard my boyfriend downstairs. I woke up at 1am and he wasn't home. I was concerned and so I called him. He picked up and I said where are you? And he said at the party and I said I thought you were going to come home soon? And suddenly his friend is talking on the phone and says "I have him he's fine hes with me." And I said what do you mean he told me he was going to be leaving earlier and his friend said to me "he tried to leave but we wouldn't let him" i started getting upset because first off my boyfriend is very personal about his phone. Second it made me mad that he would even consider driving drunk and risking so much and its against my morals. His friend was talking to me like my bf was irresponsibly drunk. He said "he might come sleep on my couch tonight is that ok?" And I said why would he need to sleep at your house ? He said to me "do you want him puking all over your house?!" I started getting mad about the situation thinking my boyfriend must be pretty drunk, in my head it sounded like he was blacking out drunk the way his friend was talking. I told his friend that makes me mad because I told him not to drink and drive and to be responsible.. then his friend started telling me he wasn't drunk and he wasn't puking.

So basically after he convinced me my bf was incapable of making decisions and taking care of himself and he found out that I was mad about it, he tried to take it all back and said he hadn't been drinking in over an hour and he was fine and would drive himself home

My bf drove himself home around 2am. I told him through text message not to talk to me. This morning we talked and he said he doesnt know why his friend said that and he didnt know what he was saying because he took the phone and talked where he couldn't hear.

I said to my boyfriend, ok if you weren't as he said, it makes me mad that u gave him the phone when I was calling concerned because you said you'd be home soon and you weren't here and I was just checking in and he got me all upset.

So my emotions got messed with and I'm mad that my boyfriend just handed the phone over to his friend in mid conversation when I was just making sure he was OK and then his friend got me mad.... im so confused on how to feel about this and feel like I'm being played. On the phone last night his friend told me he had pnly had 3 beers so he could drive my bf home. This morning my bf tells me his friend was drunk and didn't know he said all that to me and doesn't know why

Also his cousin died from liver failure because he was an alcoholic. His other cousin died from driving drunk on a 4 wheeler and crashed in a ditch broke his neck and drowned. His dad died of a heart attack possibly from excessive drinking jn his early 60s and one of his cousins friends who useto help us on the farm recently died from driving an ATV drunk as well. He was only in his 20s