1 year 4 months TTC and just confirmed we’re losing for 5th time

I’m just lost.

I’m taking all the right vitamins doing lots of good exercise and eating right, don’t drink or smoke, stopped taking the pain killers for my dodgy joints.

I just don’t know where I’m going wrong.

I think I could maybe process more if I wasn’t conceiving at all, but I keep getting to 5 or almost 5 weeks then poof tests get lighter, go to not pregnant and then hell comes. First pregnancy we got to 8 weeks.

Doctor will not refer or deal with us until we’ve been trying 2 years because of our ages (28 and 29).

I just feel depressed and empty.

We are taking a break until December as we’re supposed to go on holiday next June so would be cutting it fine.

Anyone got any wisdom, or positive stories after continuous losses to stop me from drowning my sorrows in carbohydrates and chocolate, or getting black out drunk.

*just to add - I know there are people who go through worse/have been trying longer etc. Etc. I just need to get my feelings out somewhere and my only girl friend is currently 10 weeks pregnant and is too concerned with rubbing her pregnancy in my face by turned every conversation I’ve had with her in last 48 hours to how excited she is, than being someone I can talk to right now. (I’m excited for her too btw, I just don’t want to look like an arsehole trying to turn conversation back and get support, she gets angry at me easily, so I just leave it.