How can I help my mom

Trigger warning/content warning/death of a loved one

My grandma just died like I’ve mentioned a million times. We were all there while it happened, it’s detailed in my previous posts and my profile is open.

My mom hasn’t slept at all the past 3 day’s.

Okay don’t judge my aunt, but my aunt gave her a Xanax to help her calm down and that didn’t even help her get settled. And I am very very worried about my mom. Like I’m about to call my aunt who I know is also hurting and I don’t want to do that. Here is where it gets dark yall and I’m sorry for that. Here we go.

She told me “everytime it’s quiet, I hear things i don’t want to hear. Every time I close my eyes, I see things I don’t want to see.” And I was like mom what do you mean? She said “I hear her last breaths. I hear the sounds. I see her gasping for air.”

Her mind is replaying the death of her mother over and over again in her head and she can’t stop because if she stops it’s too overwhelming.

My grandma died day before yesterday and my mom hasn’t slept since the day BEFORE she died.

So for days she’s been up like this. And I told her “mom that really worries me, and I know that it’s Greif and that it’s probably very normal but I want you to speak to our doctor, like you should not have to exist like this you have to rest (we have the same doctor he’s a family friend)

Seriously how can I help her?

I’ve talked to her about it a lot and I’m like mom I know it was hard because she was your mom and I will die when you die like I can’t imagine losing you I know you are devastated, we all are but she was your momma. But to me it was very calm and peaceful. Everything that happened was normal. Your mom didn’t suffer the way your mind is making it seem like you are just so hurt right now and SO tired and I think when you rest and feel more stable you will see that better.

Because y’all her death was not horrific. I have seen horrific death and hers wasn’t. It was so very calm. It wasn’t like she was struggling to breathe, it was like her body was simply just shutting down. When she wasn’t breathing it was like she didn’t need to. She was loved and comforted the entire time and i made sure to hold her hand while she left her body. I feel so bad that my mom feels like she died horribly and I feel like because of the exhaustion and pain her mind is like making it seem so much more horrible. Like before she died my mom was already exhausted, and so i genuinely believe that’s affecting how she feels about what she witnessed. Man this is so hard watching her hurt so Bad