Unsuccessful vbac (graphic birth photos)

So I was scheduled by my high risk doctor for an induction when I was 39 weeks on August 29th for my baby previously being diagnosed with IUGR. I got there and my cervix was still closed just like it had been two days prior at my last doctors appointment. The first doctor I saw was extremely positive and told me she was confident I could give birth naturally. Two hours later at shift change (6 am) the second doctor came in and told me she had a low tolerance for babies going into distress during induction (duh) and that she would opt for a csection if any complications arose. We started pitocin (no cytotec because of my closed cervix and previous csection) and my epidural. Then a third doctor came in with the second doctor and basically told me she wanted us to stop our medicine and go home until I naturally went into labor in a few days to a week????? Or just perform a csection right then and there. We refused both because she said she didn’t even know why we were there considering no one had informed any of the doctors of my baby’s previous diagnosis of IUGR and they all acted like I made the induction appointment myself!

So because I refused to leave they had no choice but to let me dilate to a 1 and try a Foley catheter, which we did. Fast forward 24 hours after labor initially began, that third doctor never came back in my room. I went from a closed cervix to a five but was having major back pain considering the epidural only made me numb from the waist down. I complained for hours about the pain but the nurses and doctors told me because I was already in fentanyl they couldn’t give me anything other than flexural to relieve the pain, which didn’t work. When it didn’t work I kept complaining and continued to get ignored because of my epidural even though all my discomfort and contractions were felt in my back. Then there was yet again another shift change and a different doctor. He walked in the room and basically said I hadn’t made enough progress and the risk of infection was too high so if nothing changed in another few hours I HAD to have a repeat csection. I was crushed but no one was listening to mine or my fiancé’s wishes even though I had dilated so much further than with my first (who I only made it to a 1 with), so I stopped fighting and just said okay. Time came to check me again and I hadn’t made any more progress so they took me to the operating room. There more complications arose.

I had what they called an asymmetrical block where my right leg was numb but my right hip was not and my left hip was numb but my left leg was not so I had to get a spinal on top of my epidural. I was put under general anesthesia with my first because of basically the same thing so by this time I was shaking and crying uncontrollably because I wanted to be awake to see my baby come into the world this time. The spinal worked and I did get to experience her coming in, got to hear her first cry and be the first one to kiss her! But that’s when more complications came in.

After taking her away they realized her sugar was bottomed out so she had to be put on a heater and given sugar gels. Meanwhile I was losing over 5 liters of blood on the table next to her in the PICU. While they were pumping blood out of my stomach I got to breastfeed for her initial feed, then she had trouble latching so one of the nurses began to hand express for her while I was still losing blood. I ended up having to have a blood transfusion at 6 am the next morning. All of this and the hospital I was at refused to give me adequate pain medication during my 4 day stay after forcing me into a repeat major surgery. Despite how much I advocated for myself to stick to my birth plan and receive proper aftercare, I was not listened to. I was so distraught and discouraged BUT my baby girl made it here. She’s beautiful, feisty, sweet and her big brother is in love - as are we.

Our beautiful Cora Selina was brought into this world on August 30th , 2020 @ 9:20 am weighing 7lbs 6oz and 20 1/4 inches long.

EDIT TO ADD: I’m aware she wasn’t born as an IUGR baby which is why I’ve said it was her PREVIOUS diagnosis. When she was diagnosed she was in the 9th percentile for overall weight and her stomach was in the 2nd percentile and measuring way behind her head and femur. She moved up to the 14th percentile when I was 36w5d which is not IUGR but still small and obviously I was still concerned and my high risk doctor scheduled induction during that appointment for 39 weeks.