Today I stepped outside my comfort zone. I wore a dress that I thought I'd never wear when I wasn't pregnant. I was fine showing off my belly when my sons were in there, but just my just my belly without growing a human that's a totally different story. When I had my first son it was so hard to love myself again it took almost a year and just when I became confident in my body again *BAM!* two pretty pink showed up on a first response. Nine months later I gave birth to another beautiful baby boy. This time I thought it be easier because everything else was the pregnancy, the labor, and my postpartum journey physically so far. I figured out that loving my body wasn't going to be as easy as everything else and that was a huge let down. I fell into old bad habits that I've struggled with in the past even before the babies. I wish I could see myself the way my husband sees me "The sexiest woman in the world" as he says but I still struggle to believe he truly thinks that or is he just saying that because he doesn't want me to get bad again. Anyway that's another post for another day. This is something I've never been comfortable with I've always hated my body. I just want to push myself and wear things I'd never dream of trying because of my body but I only live once so let's just say I wanna believe I made that bodycon dress my bitch. Showed it that it didn't own me but I was self conscious all day Yeah I'd look better if I was smaller but I'm not there yet I may never get there And I should enjoy my body it's the only one I got and it's constantly going to change and shouldn't hate myself for that. I just have to learn that all over again or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

36 weeks 4 days pregnant

3 weeks 4 days postpartum

I'm just trying my best this is just so hard for me.