I'm sure some of you have seen my recent posts. I have not had a period in roughly 5 months . I thought I was coming on , because I was spotting pink. I havent received a full flow yet or even heavy enough to call a period.

My SO and I decided after three long years we are separating, while we are not together we are still residing with one another , since neither of us make enough to currently move out with COVID impacting our hours. Everything we have gotten from unemployment has been built into a "back up money" fund. Its complicated to say the least, but we are managing.

With everything going on this year has given me all of the reasons to give up . These last three months , I've lost a family member each month . I've been put on furlough and almost lost everything. I've fallen in and put of depression and turned around taking better care of myself.

Initially, after we broke up I felt all kinds of anxiety . I was scared to lose my best friend. I havent cried or anything over us breaking up , because I understand that right now just isn't our time! We both have been carrying on as friends just fine! This morning , I woke up earlier than usual , around 6am . I knew something wasn't right. I felt sick !! I hadn't thrown up so I figured I was fine and went to my moms house. I took her and my siblings out for breakfast , I couldn't finish my meal. I pushed it off figuring I was just full. I left because something told me to go home.

I get back to the house and immediately begin to vomit over and over again. I never vomit! I wasnt feeling anxious , I just randomly started. I thought I was alone or that my friend was her , but my ex came down and began patting my back and questioning me. I wasnt drunk , didn't drink alcohol or anything last night. I just went to sleep . I forgot to mention that I took a test last night and it had a slight positive line , I thought I was losing it, so I waited till it times out and the line was still there , I discarded it. I find that hard to beleive as I dont trust blue dye test. But thats what my friend bought me.

I was sleepy all day long and cannot keep my eyes open. My ex has been catering to me , checking in and making sure I'm drinking water. I took a 30 minute nap today and a 2 and a half hour nap. I could still go back to sleep , and I just woke up a little over an hour ago.

I ate dinner , and again I threw up an hour later. Ive been having back, hips and stomach cramps,, expecting aunt flow.. Im really really scared to be pregnant or to bring a child into a broken home like I was. Im planning on testing again, I just dont want anyone getting excited because I'm definitely in denial. I dont think its possible that I could be pregnant. I dont get it. Any advice ? 😔