Why do people act like someone was a saint when they pass away even if they weren’t?

Question

I often have heard people say that you shouldn’t “disrespect the dead” or talk bad about them.  Why is this?  Maybe I’m pretty cold but if I held the opinion that you were a trash human being in life I don’t think that would change just because they are no longer living.  
That doesn’t necessarily mean I would celebrate their death, but my opinion certainly wouldn’t change 🤷🏻‍♀️
Even within my own family where there has been estrangement or disputes, they will act like this person who has passed had all these amazing qualities when in reality if they were still living they would still talk shit about them, or wish they had more time to resolve their differences when in reality they had years and no intention of putting things right.  Guilty conscience maybe?
Are you of a similar opinion, or would you never acknowledge a deceased persons negative characteristics?

Accepted Answer

I don’t think we necessarily need to praise every person who dies, but I also think it’s very disrespectful to only focus on a persons mistakes or wrong doings as soon as they die, because the family will be grieving and it definitely doesn’t help when you add more negativity.
I think it’s normal & respectful to talk about a persons achievements and positive traits when they pass. Obviously you don’t have to, but it doesn’t hurt to keep the negativity to yourself, especially soon after a death.
I also think that the phrase ‘nobody loves you until you’re dead’ has a lot of truth to it, because when a person dies (especially a celebrity or well known person), a lot of people will appreciate them who may not have known of them before. 
Obviously this is talking in a general sense, as all situations are different.

Answer

My general rule of thumb is if I don't have anything good to say about a person who has died, I just won't say anything at all. There's nothing to be gained by trashing a person who is not present to defend themselves. They're dead - is it really worth reviewing all their faults? If there's nothing good to highlight, in my opinion it's better to just hold your tongue.

Answer

It’s more for the grieving family. 
It depends on the circumstances but very rarely does someone deserve to die regardless of how you felt about them when they were loving.

Answer

Dude, I'm with you 100%
I don't go around celebrating someone's death.. but I do not understand making them something they weren't! If you were garbage, I remain thinking you sucked here and hope for better wherever you leave to 🤷‍♀️ again I'm not going to go around talking shit when the person is gone or tell their loved ones they sucked but I'm not going to make them look like a Saint.. especially if they were trash to everyone 😂 this seriously does drive me crazy.. I've been to a couple funerals where I'm pretty sure everyone knew a "different" person than I did even though this person was awful to 90% of people 🤷‍♀️😂

Answer

If I don’t have anything nice to say about someone who died, I keep my mouth shut out of respect for their family and friends

Answer

I have a cousin who passed away in March, he’s done a lot of wrong doings in his life and has fucked over a lot of people and family, I don’t praise him for it but I do praise him for the positive doings he’s done in his life & the good memories we’ve made. Because the good things he’s done outweighs the bad. He’s made mistakes & although I don’t agree with them he’s human and we’ve all made mistakes. Personally, I don’t like hearing people bad mouth the dead because they aren’t here to defend themselves and I just find it disrespectful to bad mouth any person who’s passed away whether they’re a normal citizen or a well-known person.

Answer

This is something that annoys me! Anthony Bourdain was a great example! When he was alive, everyone around him swore he was an elitist prick who was horrible to work with. Then he killed himself. Now, everyone wants to act like he was some great philanthropist and advocate for equality.

Answer

It’s more for the family. Still, I could never stand there and act like they were a wonderful person if they weren’t. I’d be respectful to the family but I’m not going to give a eulogy about how awesome they were....and I’d probably struggle to not roll my eyes if someone did do so. There are really bad people out there.

Answer

Not sure. Ask the extreme leftists about George Floyd. 🤷🏻‍♀️ They sure played him out to be some sort of saint or martyr.
I’ve never understood it either.

Answer

I get what you are saying. I feel that way to a point.    I think people try to remember the good in people.  They're gone now and holding things against them won't help anyone but you also dont have to treat it as if they were perfect.  
Idk how to put exactly what I mean into words

Why do people act like someone was a saint when they pass away even if they weren’t?

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