Husband working night shift?

Question

My husband works night shift and I'm at home taking care of our 18 month old. I go back to work next week, work from home thankfully. 
My husband made a promise when he took this shift, he would make time for us and we'd spend our nights together after we put our LO to bed and before he heads off to work (he works 11pm-7am). 
He comes home in the morning around 7:30 and sleeps all day until before dinner (4pm) and has been falling asleep every night until work after we put our LO to bed. 
I've mentioned to him a couple times this past month how I'd love if we could spend some quality time just the two of us. I miss him and it gets lonely not sleeping with him at night and not really seeing him at all during the day. It's been tough emotionally for me caring for a toddler all day with no help from my husband and then he sleeps most of his time when he's at home so it just gets super isolating and lonely being on my own 90% of time. 
He gets irate and calls me names when I mentioned how I feel about it. He just completely invalidates my feelings about it all. I've just stopped asking to hang out with him because he gets upset and goes to sleep. 
I appreciate his hard work, don't get me wrong. I've been with him for 10 years and I'm used to his shift schedule always changing. But the nights are the hardest for obviously him because of the sleep but hard on the family as well, we barely see him. It sucks.
Sorry for the rant. He hasn't been the most understanding recently and he really could care less about how I feel so I needed to let it out on here.

Answer

I worked the same shift for 5 1/2 years and it's ROUGH to say the least. You are soo tired all you want to do is sleep all day and are cranky most of the time. I slept right when I got home until about 2pm then was up for a few hours then back to bed at 5-6 pm until I had to get ready. Ask him to make a plan on sleep schedule, that's the easiest way to do it, if not then I'd ask him to switch to day shift.

Answer

I understand it’s ok I’m in the same boat my bf works from 7a-7pm I work from home as well so I definitely see where you are coming from. It does get lonely I find myself getting upset at the smallest things and when he does have free time majority of it goes towards him playing his game. Luckily his dads job has an opening and he’ll only have to work 8 hrs a day... so maybe your so can weigh out his options and see what else is out there so that he can spend more time with you guys.

Answer

I’d really suggest counseling. My SO has been on night shift which was HARD - he’s now on second shift which I thought would be better (2p-12a) but honestly it’s just as hard. Not being on the same schedule as your SO is hard, emotionally and then not physically being present. For us, communication got so much worse when it needed to get better after he went to night shift. He likes the shift and hates day shift with a passion (days are more uneventful or tedious in his line of work) so I wouldn’t ask him to change, he was pretty miserable when he was on days. 
But counseling can make a huge difference and can make both of you feel heard/learn to communicate even with the challenges of schedules

Answer

Could he switch to day shift instead? Is that a option? 
Name calling is so wrong in a relationship. It’s not healthy and can really bring the other person down, I would mention to him that you don’t appreciate the name calling.

Answer

I've been there as well. From when we had our first til she was a year old my husband worked overnights. I truly felt like a single mom. I was always alone and lived far from family. He's never been the same after working that shift. It changed him forever. We never got to sleep in the same bed at the same time and now it's hard to. He was so used to never having to help with the our first baby, so he thinks that's just how it's supposed to be. It's been five years... Hopefully your husband can switch shifts soon and you can have your family back.

Husband working night shift?

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