Is there something wrong with me?

Okay so I have a serious question and I want to add a trigger warning because I’m talking about death and grieving.

My grandmother died sep 5th, and i was there. I held her hand as she passed. I watched her die, and then I checked her pulse and there was not a pulse.

Then we sat with her for about an hour before they took her to be cremated.

I keep having this ridiculous nagging feeling that will not go away “what if she wasn’t really dead. What if she was alive.”

And I KNOW that is really illogical, i was literally there and watched her take her last breath. I checked her pulse. My aunt knows the freaking big boss of hospice and the big boss of hospice confirmed time of death in person. She was absolutely dead. but that feeling won’t go away.

I don’t know what this is. It feels like something isn’t final. I don’t know what to do to make it seem more final for me.

There is no grave to visit, her ashes were scattered.