Rejected again

My husband is not empathetic when I cry, he rejects me probably 75% of the time I initiate and I have some trauma from being rejected for so many years. I have hardened my heart to cope.

We've been going to marriage counseling and he said he was going to initiate everyday which he tried for a week and then stopped. I wanted sex once at the beginning of the week, he initiated but that was the only time this week.

I wanted it tonight and hinted around and he said he was considering it, which upsets me because of what he previously said and because I'm tired of not being truly wanted.

I just left the house. I'm parked somewhere and just bawling. I don't want to live by life with him.

He wanted to initiate everyday on his own, I told him it was extreme but I appreciated the effort. Y'all don't get it you aren't here, I can't explain everything here. But I've made 20+ posts on this app over 9 months about feeling rejected.

He's been extremely rude, getting mad at me when I come out naked.

Rejecting me before I even imply sex.

Yeah I have my issues but he definitely rejects me too harshly and too much

Another edit: thank you for the kind words ladies. I am getting as much help as I can with personal therapy and working on my self esteem. Yes I have trauma from being rejected, but I don't let him continue to hurt me. I know by emotions are my own responsibility.

Some of the ladies on here can be pretty cruel, and I would encourage you to speak gently instead of fighting with strangers about what you THINK is happening in my life. I told him initiating everyday was unrealistic but he was determined to. I definitely don't expect him to.

What he needed to know was that I won't stick around if I keep feeling unloved, he came up with his own solutions which of course he can't fulfill, but my upset is that he is cold and rude about it.

I once stopped initiating for a month because I didn't want him to feel pressured. I'm far from giving up in him, but I am tired and I needed to vent.