Is it appropriate that my sister asked me to do this?? Please Read

Question

Thanks in advance for reading::
My sister (35F) has been planning a road trip (with her husband and 2yo toddler) to visit family. Her drive will be from out of state for about 12 hours total. She and her family have been essentially quarantined and WFH since March. She has a babysitter that has Lupus who comes to their home to watch my nephew a few hours a week so they can work... her regular daycare is open but she is too afraid to put my nephew back in daycare, and I respect her decision and their arrangement works for them.
My family of five (37F, 39M, 9yoF, 2yoM, and 4moF) have had various work schedules this year that have taken myself and my husband into office working environments either part time or full time depending on the month. My two youngest kids have been back in daycare full time since early September. As a family, we wear masks, wash hands, keep distance, and have only socialized with our local family pod (which consist of my parents, and my other sister’s family of three).. we don’t take any unnecessary risks, and consider work and daycare a necessary risk because it is keeping our income to support our family.
My sister who is road tripping has asked our local family (the pod I mentioned above) to all get a Covid test before they arrive, out of ‘an abundance of caution’.. I replied saying that we would get tested if/when we have symptoms or have reasons to believe we have had an exposure. To her, that isn’t good enough and thinks we should just test to make her feel better and because her babysitter has Lupus, and she really wants to visit because she has missed everyone and doesn’t want the possibility of Covid to ‘cloud the visit’.
My feeling is that it is not my job to support her choice to travel and testing alone does nothing to protect her babysitter. I replied that we are not going to randomly test because with that logic we would have to do so all the time, and we are not going to operate that way. 
They know our work situation, and that we plan to be going to work/daycare during their visit, and we have been transparent on our lifestyle. IMO, she is either comfortable with seeing us, or she is not, and taking a random test is irrelevant and illogical. 
My local family has said privately that they think it doesn’t make sense, but might test to keep the peace. I have a great relationship with my whole family, and am not out to ‘hurt’ my sister, but I also don’t feel compelled to be a part of this false sense of security... but now think I look like the ass for not just doing it anyway to please my sister

Answer

If I were your sister I just wouldn’t visit. Who is to say you get tested and you’re negative. And then the very next day you contract the virus. You’d have no idea, especially since you may not get symptoms. Her trip just doesn’t make sense to me

Answer

Totally reasonable that she asked. But it’s also totally reasonable that you’re declining to get tested.

Answer

I don’t think it’s unnecessary or unreasonable.  It’s certainly not inappropriate. 
I follow your line of logic but respectfully, I find it flawed.
It’s true that you are continuously exposed and can begin to pose a risk at any time. But this doesn’t support the stance that it doesn’t make sense to get tested. Not by a long shot. It supports the stance that you should get tested periodically, especially considering that you are someone with access to free testing. I believe that even if you are doing so infrequently, you absolutely should go to the “trouble” or “inconvenience” of getting tested. I put those words in quotation marks not to be rude but because getting tested is quite literally nothing compared to the trouble of your actions leading to someone’s death, and the inconvenience of, well, dying. 
I say this because you aren’t just at risk of contracting this virus as a result of the nature of this pandemic and your lifestyle choices. You are also at risk of being an asymptomatic carrier and super-spreader. With half of cases being asymptomatic you are (assuming you’re healthy) at equal risk to be a carrier with symptoms as you are to be an asymptomatic carrier. Thus, I find the position that you will or should only get tested if you exhibit symptoms... to be an exercise of poor logic. I also find it to be socially irresponsible.
I’ve been called overly sensitive, or overly compassionate (disclaimer submitted)... but I find myself tearing up thinking of the fact that you could very well have been involved in someone’s death already. I imagine someone’s mother— someone’s fiancé— someone’s son— someone’s best friend, cousin, sister, brother.
The people we come in contact with are precious, and beloved, and people rely and depend on them and hold them oh so dear. 
People will pass your husband on the street and not think twice about him. They may hardly spare him a glance... they may hit their vape nice and deep and he might breathe it in. They may not consider this, or the fact that he’s even there. They might see right through him. 
But he is somebody’s, or several somebodies’... whole fucking world. That’s true of him. It’s true of other people too.

Answer

If it were me, I would be willing to be tested so I could see my sister and Nephew. But I would not put my children through the testing without symptoms.

Answer

So I don’t think it’s inappropriate to ask y’all to do that. Does it make sense... no. She is taking the risk to travel, and understands the precautions that you are taking. 
In my opinion it makes more sense for the person traveling to you through (probably many towns/states/provinces) to get tested before they leave so they aren’t bring it with them. 
I also think it would be more reasonable if they had said “hey we’re getting test out of an abundance of caution before we come to you. Would you be willing to get tested so we don’t expose our immunocompromised babysitter?” 
I think when it comes to these COVID conversations it’s a two way street. If you want me to get tested to make you feel more comfortable they should be willing to get tested also.

Answer

Only do it if it works with your schedule and doesnt cost you. I would be honest with my sister. She crazy if she want to be “so in control” and not realize covid is literally everywhere. I could understand asking you to wear a mask but testing a whole entire family for the sake of a visit is just wow.

Answer

So she think it’s too risky to send her kid to daycare but is totally okay with taking a trip 12 hours away? That’s kind of dumb and makes no sense at all. They need to stay home. I would say no too. I think people should only get tested if they have symptoms or think they’ve been exposed

Answer

Honestly if your sister is afraid to leave her house she shouldn’t come visit you, as much as it sucks, it is what it is

Answer

If I were your sister I wouldn’t be seeing anybody who didn’t get tested and that’s that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Is it appropriate that my sister asked me to do this?? Please Read

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