I’m so done. Pregnancy rant

I’m 28 weeks and I’m so done. I’ve had HG my whole pregnancy and do iv therapy 3 times a week, I’m on 3 medications, I’m still sick. And today has just been extra hard. Were living with my parents while we try to find a place and it’s near impossible. I spend hours yesterday trying to call around and message apartments in a 45 mile radius. No response so today I got up and drove to the city and went to these places but no one would talk to me or let me tour because of Covid I require a reservation. But no one answers the damn phone or emails or anything?! I’m sick and tired. I haven’t had sex with my husband in months because hormones and pain and I feel like he doesn’t love me. He’s so kind and doesn’t give me a reason to think that but his love language is physical touch and I know it hurts his feelings that I can’t even kiss or hug him without being sick. And on top of that I have restless leg syndrome and want to cut my legs off. And acid and I just want to sleep. I tried to kill my self when I was 15 and I have been doing so good for years! Lived a great life after and met my love and we tried so hard for this baby and now I don’t even want it. I hate that. Only within the past week have I gone from stressed and depressed to now I just want her to be born. I don’t think I can be a mom. This is so hard. I just want to be the best I can be. But I can’t. I just want to die. Well Atleast sleep so I don’t have to be conscious for the next 2 months. No one tells you how hard pregnancy is. Or maybe I just got a shitty card. I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna make it to January. I even spent an hour today trying to see about find a therapist or psychiatrist to see if I could get some help and some medicine since I’m terrified of ppd. But no because insurance in America is a joke. I have pretty good insurance and I’ve paid my max out of pocket this year of 7k but mental health isn’t covered. I spent 7500 of savings trying to buy a house. And we got screwed over and lost the money (we might get 5k baxk but he won’t commit to anything in writing so we’ll just see) and that was my savings. I spent that so we could have a home and now we don’t even have that. I can’t work as much because my iv therapy and we’re struggling and I’m so stressed. Praying baby comes before December 31 so my delivery is covered by insurance but can’t be induced til the 2nd unless I have medical reasons. Which means this kids gonna cost me 7k right off the bat. And more money stress and My life’s a mess and I’m so miserable and worried that I can’t even enjoy my baby. I’m not even excited anymore. I regret it. I hate that 😭 I want to feel excited and happy. I don’t know what to do.