Don’t get me wrong I still want to be a mom when I’m older! But I don’t want to have kids the way I thought I did when I was younger.

I’m 19 and ever since I was younger I always wanted kids. I have no idea why really, but I knew and still know I want kids.

Of course when I was younger I thought actually giving birth would be how I would be a mother to my child even though I knew about adoption and about kids that are in the foster system(I knew about the foster system from tv(I think), and I knew about adoption because I had a lot of people around that were adopted), but it never clicked that I could be a mom for a child that isn’t blood related(that I gave birth to).

As I’ve gotten older and learned more about what women go through when they’re pregnant or what can happen when they’re pregnant, it honestly scares me. But I also learned about how messed up the foster system is and want to be a foster mom.

I realized to have a child I don’t have to literally give birth. I can just adopt and whoever comes into my life then I can help raise them.

I know it’s harder going that route but there’s so many kids out there that don’t have families or are going through the system and it breaks my heart.

I know the system may change by the time I’m ready to become a parent(10 years or so) but with the way the U.S. is, I unfortunately don’t have high hopes but am still hoping the foster system will change at least a little by then.

In my heart I feel more comfortable with adoption or just being a foster mom then actually carrying and giving birth to my own child. It kind of sounds weird coming from just a 19 year old, but I don’t think I’m going to be changing my mind.

I hope my future partner would be okay with what I think, but my future partner may spark something in me that makes me want to have a child that will be connected by blood. I really don’t know.

I won’t be having kids any time soon, but I hope I’ll be full ready when that happens.