Need to talk to someone who understands.

So hi, I usually post anonymously when talking about this kinda stuff but rn I'm choosing not to and pushing down the thoughts that I should. I'm 19 and I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and PTSD, due to how bad it is I had to switch to online school (pre covid) and barley graduated the only reason I did was because of covid. I have a SDIT who has helped so much and changed my world. When I dont have her I cant even walk to the bathroom alone (outside of my house). I shower with a clear curtain (the inner lining or whatever), when at the store I cant even be in the same aisle away from my mom if shes out of sight, so when I say she saved me I really do mean it. Anyways when I was 7 the sexual assault and rape started and I wont go into it anymore because 1- I'm already getting triggered and anxious, 2- I dont wanna trigger anyone else and 3- I'm not posting anonymously. It went on until I was 17 ( multiple different guy that wernt related but also the same guy from when I was 7). One of the men was a family/family friend and one was my ex (that's just two of them). When I went to get diagnosed because I was sure I had both PTSD and Anxiety I had to bring up an assault incident and my mother was there ( I dont want her knowing the things that have happened to me) she was shocked but is supportive. She doesnt know how much I've actually been through so she doesnt know how bad it actually is. Anyways idk I have nobody to talk to so ig I use this app. I've had friends in the past that I've told but they would just make up stories and fake having what I have or try to make it a competition on who had it worse. I hate crying in front of people so if I can hide it and not I do which only makes it worse when it actually comes out and I have so space of my own to go too. I'm trying to move out but it's not easy. Anyways if you have read this whole thing thank you.

Yall can private message me if you want and if yall have questions about service dogs because you think it could help you message me. I did at least 3 years of research before I got mine (and obviously made sure I was actually diagnosed), so I'm not saying ik everything but I know a lot and can help see if it's something you might wanna bring up to your doctor. (But note a service dog is medical equipment in the eyes of the law and is not just for fun, faking a service dog is illegal and harms everyone who need one. It is also and big thing to consider and should not be your first choice)