You’re a liar and I can’t stand it, a constant need to one up me I can’t take it

You can’t take any bad light, you can’t stand poor public opinion. You’re so wrapped up in wanting to deny what you are that you’d rather destroy me, lie over and over again, make me feel like I’m making shit up, throwing out baseless accusations, pinning you down for nothing, so you don’t have to face the shame of the shit you’ve done to me.

Why do you have to be right? I told you the truth, I apologized for lying to you I told you why I went through your phone: I was hurt seeing you texting people not even a week after we broke up.I stopped looking I never gave you shit I let it go I understand it’s none of my business. I was wrong for doing it, I’m sorry. You lie about fucking with me while I’m asleep, fucking me in my sleep, even when you’ve sworn on god to tell me the truth. You complain that you’ve been telling me the same shit since day 1 that the time I confronted you you were just using toys on me in my sleep cuz you thought it was okay, then you admit you lied but only about putting a finger in my ass and it was only that one time. You lied once to hide your shame but you never did it before then, but you barely did it, you did it once then never again, now you don’t even know what I’m talking about. You expose me while I’m sleep but you didn’t do anything. You get why it’s wrong and you’re sorry but you didn’t do anything and I’m just accusing you of shit. You told me before you had no clue what I was talking about why I would think that, then you were offended for being called or accused of being a rapist and now I feel bad for even asking you about it. Now you’re mad at me for “invading your privacy,” you wanna go through my messages with my best friend about you and our situation. You wanna say I triggered you because I patted you on the back and that’s why you kicked me and pushed me down. Now my 5”3’ 104lbs ass is a threat to you, you don’t feel safe around me anymore. Of course you’d want me to just pretend nothing happened because I’m so worn out and tired, and you have the audacity to tell me YOURE burned out.

I lied to you about the phone because I knew it’d just be more am,o for you to use against me to make me feel crazy, and I was right. You couldnt admit the truth even when you knew my trauma with that kinda thing, even you saw me breaking in front of you, begging you to just tell me the fucking truth for fucking once, please. You lied and you made me feel bad for even asking.

I’ve felt you, I’m a woman I know the difference between your dick and a fucking toy, I know the difference between your dick and your fingers. I’ve woken up with you in me, it’s happened so many times, but you claim you haven’t done shit. I don’t accuse you every two weeks, I ask you about it anytime I wake up to some sus shit you lie to me I believe you. I gave up, knowing I was wasn’t going to get anything more than the vague mumbled garbage you kept trying to shove down my throat, and you kept trying to argue with me. I wanted to stop since it was clear you weren’t going to tell me the truth and every second speaking on it was triggering for me. I told you this and I begged you to stop talking about so I wouldn’t have some kind of meltdown. I just wanted to sleep I just wanted a nap, you kept pushing and pushing until now a pat on the back “triggered” you.

And now it’s all about appearances you’re everyone’s best friend, I put the cats up you’re letting them out, I don’t pour a friend chips you make it a point to pour them the dip. Now that my names in the hot seat you’re super nice and helping with the cooking while you’re smoking, when last week you didn’t wanna help because you were too high to cook. Ask me if I’m only doing my own laundry or cooking for myself when of course I’m not going to do that. I hate you so much sometimes my hands have started twitching in anticipation every time you lie to me.

But then you’re so sweet to me, and you compliment me continuously. You tell me how gorgeous I am and how much you love and appreciate me. Wrap me up in blankets and make me feel so safe. I will look for you in a crowded room knowing that’s where my comfort is. I feel like sometimes I need you, god I miss you so damn much. You were my person and when things are good they’re perfect. I’m comfortable with you I love you and I feel like I barely know you now

I’m feeling so crazy and tired and I just can’t do this shit, I hate it