What did you do after you broke up with your ex?

Question

How did you cope with your new life. For example you split from your partner even though you two share a baby and a home. Been dating for atleast 4 years.. But you want to leave because the relationship is spoiled.. did things eventually get better? Harder for you? I want to know what to expect.

Answer

I took a year to work on myself and heal, I was with my cheating ex for five years, two miscarriages, eat out every single night and gained so much weight, between the pregnancies and eating out every night, he was just a piece of shit that’s the nicest way of putting it, he slept with half of our town, and basically I took the year to heal, I lost almost 100 pounds, at home just walking and eating better, I focused on myself, I did some serious healing inside and out. I never lived with him, so I didn’t have to worry about going home or anything to my family or finding a new place to live etc., he could never keep jobs etc The hell I was going to live with him when he was so unstable himself, I felt bad and wanted to help him, and all I did was get him ready for the next woman. He just used me to clean up all of his messes, he had tickets and every single town that he would neglect, they would turn into warrants an arrest so I’m having to pay Bails. Hi I learned that I deserve better, stop tolerating bullshit, and I moved on to bigger and better things, I still missed him every single day anytime a quiet thought would come to my head it would be that I missed him, but things ended in December 2017, I took all of 2018 to heal, I started dating again in 2019, to losers who just wanted to use me for sex that didn’t happen, and by October 2019 I met a decent guy, that I was with for almost a year, by February 2020 I was finally over my ex and now I’m in a place where I can see why men keep it casual. No drama or complications, not babysitting or carting their kids to soccer, no fighting, we are each other’s escape from reality ￼and just have fun and are good friends. No baby mama drama etc. I am just enjoying myself. Someone I’ve known for 20 years. Like best friends and lovers. Whether we watch a football game and have sex and lay in bed eating snacks. Completely comfortable around each other. The most attentive lover ever! Tries to improve every time. Tries to please me. Says he could go down on me for hours because I taste amazing, guess being a vegetarian has its benefits lol and for the first time I truly enjoy giving him oral and pleasing him and it’s not a chore or a guy saying well it’s not gonna suck itself or just being concerned with himself and not me. It’s refreshing. You keep yourself busy and forget him, you focus on yourself and betting yourself own life. You spend time with friends and family, you walk dogs or babysit they will comfort you. You exercise. You forgive yourself for the decisions and choices that you made. You forgive them, not to their face but to yourself, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace within and they are no longer going to be the reason for your unhappiness or sabotage future relationships with doubts or insecurities or blaming the next for what the ex did. You deserve better than that, you deserve happiness. Choose yourself, choose happiness, date yourself, pamper yourself and love yourself. Life is what you make it, if you aren’t happy, you change what you can and what you can’t change, you learn to love, accept and embrace yourself flaws and all. Remember a man doesn’t complete you or define you or your happiness, you do. You remember the amazing person that you are. You no longer live for them or make them a priority, you live for yourself and make yourself a priority. You volunteer and not focus on the problem, but on others instead, sometimes you just need a change of prospective and see how others live and appreciate life. You read books, you pamper yourself, you learn a language or go back to school, you do anything that you have always wanted to do. Endless possibilities. You live and enjoy life to the fullest. And one day when you are healed you will find someone new. Never allowed desperation or loneliness to be the reason that you settle for less than you deserve. You deserve better always remember that. You are not a victim, you are victorious and a warrior and survivor. You’ve got this.

What did you do after you broke up with your ex?

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