Please help, I have nobody to talk to

I really liked this guy but my past insecurities and trust issues have put doubts in my mind. He split with his ex of 3 years about 5 months ago and says he's over her but has talked about her a lot. He seems interested in a lot of girls on Instagram but I've tried putting it out of my mind. He's also constantly talked about how girls don't give him a second look because he thinks he's unattractive and said I'm like the only girl that has shown proper interest which made me think is he just settling for me? I asked him if he was just choosing me because he thought nobody else wanted him and he said I was just making stuff up in my head. He also said he would give me a call a few times and I was waiting for him for ages on these occasions but he never did. Which obviously isn't his fault if something comes up. But I've been pushing him away tonight because I worried he wasn't interested and he said that I've been pissing him off with me bringing it up which I don't blame him for because I can get irritating 😞 I'm just sat in bed in the dark tired from working a lot lately crying because I know I've probably ruined another chance of happiness. Why do I do this why can't I just be a normal girl for a nice guy for once? Please help I don't have any friends to talk to about this 😞