Toddler tantrums

I feel like a failure, I literally can’t handle my toddler. He has been a terror lately, throwing tantrums, not listening when told no (he always has, since he was 9 months old). Now he’s been hitting and throwing things when he gets mad. I don’t know what to do. I try to make him sit and calm down, he just gets more upset. I try to talk to him, he gets more upset. Literally the only thing that works is letting him scream for 10 minutes and he’ll get over it, or just give him what he wants, which most of the time it’s something he can’t have. I’m so lost on how to help him handle these new emotions when he won’t let me.

Edited: He’s only 18 months old, which is why I’m having an even harder time with it because he’s still so little.