Is this a red flag?

Question

I was gonna book a couples massage and my husband told me no cause it would make him feel uncomfortable and turn him on with another women touching him like that. Idk how I’m supposed to feel. My feelings are actually hurt

Answer

So my husband said the same thing and it would be embarrassing to him. Honestly not sure how that upsets you. He is being honest and not crossing a boundary. I think he is being respectful.

Answer

No...? I mean if someone is touching you like that it’s a bodily response to be turned on (for some people at least). Especially bc guys have less control over getting hard. 
I think he’s respectfully telling you he doesn’t want another woman touching all over his body. Suggest a man?

Answer

I would get the chills and tingles if another man touched my bare skin like that. I have been married 7.5 years and haven't been that vulnerable with another man so i get where your husband is coming from. No need to be hurt- its a physiological reaction.

Answer

I don't understand why what he said hurt your feelings.

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So him being honest hurt your feelings? It’s not a red flag, my husband has said the same thing.

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Me and my hubby has had couple massages I always have a man because I feel like they are stronger when massaging and he has a woman because of his child pass with men and I understand how he feels so if he’s telling u that it would turn him on try and see if he would get a massage from a male just bring it up and u could have the female

Answer

Honestly I always get a bit turned on during massages 😳😂 I learned to just kind of blank my mind from it since I enjoy that form of self care but it’s obviously easier for a woman to hide being turned on versus a man

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It’s kinda weird but at least he was honest with you. Why does it hurt your feelings? Because another woman is so easily capable of turning him on?

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I feel ya. But look, go to like a China town(where my husband and I go) and it’s actually always the adult Chinese ladies who do our massages and it’s not awkward. We do the couples massage. Now like if you go to a regular massage envy or something like that who knows what ya get and we always call ahead. He refuses to have a guy do his massage which I get. And for the record I do get why hearing his response would make u feel uneasy. Some guys get hard and most don’t and if they do it’s probably just the first time they will.... who knows but it’s not like a deal breaker for me.

Answer

There are men that can do couples massages... just book one where a man does him and a woman does you?

Is this a red flag?

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