The world is shit, society is shit, politics are shit, my family is shit, my relationship is shit, my future is shit, my education is shit. I just want to start a small garden and live in the middle of nowhere with a quaint village of people who decided to not be a part of society.

But I can’t, so I’ll just be here having to listen to my brother complain that rape is fake and my dad complain about “feminazis & filthy q***rs and n****rs” and get smacked in the mouth by my mom when I mention my period or fail to conceal my pads in public, watch my sister hate herself more and more, unhappy with her body and my youngest brother getting beat for “crying like a girl”. I have to worry about my friends and I who are hiding in the closet because our parents might disown or even kill us for who we love. Watch thousands of black people get killed or arrested just because of their skin. Sit by while I and thousands of women and girls are silent about being groomed or sexually assaulted because they don’t have enough information about the man or because no one would listen anyway. Hear debate after debate between only men on women’s health and women’s rights without a single consideration on how any women feel about the subject. See successful women lament that society forced them to get a job because of “those ret**ded, disgusting suffragettes”.

I want to live for a time when at least some of these issues are solved, but I don’t think they will. I’m scared for my future and my future family. The world is horrible and I don’t want to be a part of it. I don’t want to contribute to it. I don’t want to live but I’m scared that my absence will hurt others and make living worse for them.