Should I get advice from my boyfriend’s best friend?

Question

My boyfriend & I got into a severe fight, almost broken up. I don’t want to lose my bf, we were even recently talking about marriage, & the whole fight went further than what it should have. He thinks I don’t care about him because when we argue I go away for some days, only to give him time to cool off, he says because of this I’m not ready to be in a relationship. He said if things don’t change, & I don’t show him, then he’s leaving the relationship. 
He’s been in my life for years & I absolutely love him, anytime he needs me I’m there for him & I thought that was showing enough, but I guess not.
I’m really cool with his best friend & I was thinking about reaching out to him, just to see what he thinks is causing all of this, and what I should do to fix it. Do you think I should reach out to him or speak with my boyfriend & tell him how I just feel? I’m nervous because I don’t want my bf to get mad for me speaking with him about our relationship. I thought by speaking with him, it would show him, I’m really trying to save our relationship.

Answer

Dont talk to his friend 😳 that would make me even more upset. And why do you disappear for days on end?!?!?! That's not what a healthy, mature relationship does. You cant be running off for days and ghosting him and excusing it for "letting him cool off". You need to stop that asap if you want even a little chance of saving your relationship

Answer

You should 100% NOT go to his best friend about this.  If he is the one who needs space after an argument why are you the one leaving for days on end? Space is I'll leave the room, ill go for a walk to cool down. Not days.  There's nothing to gain from talking to the friend. Your boyfriend seems to be pretty clear he would like you not to act like this.

Answer

No offence but u don't sound like ur mature enough to be in a serious relationship.
If I was ur bf.. I would worry that if something was to happen like say an argument.. disagreement then u won't be there for a few days.
U can't do that when u have kids.

Answer

Why are you looking to outside people? It's really weird that you leave for days at a time after fights. I'm with your boyfriend on that one. (He was very clear how you can fix this.) Time outs are great tools but you say, "I  need a time out to gather my thoughts" or "we need to take a break for a little bit and calm down" and go do something else for 20 minutes to an hour. Then you come back and talk it out! You don't run away for days at a time leaving things unresolved! That doesn't fix anything! Or show any desire to fix anything. 
Your boyfriend is right. You need to grow up and learn to handle conflict in a healthy, mature way. 
There's no reason to be getting his best friend involved.

Answer

Don't do it. Not only is that gonna be putting his friend in a super awkward situation it is something you and your boyfriend need to figure out. Running reconnaissance from an inside source may backfire huge. He may not tell his friends about your fights and want to keep that private. He could see it as why talk to X when you can just talk to me. So many things could go wrong despite your intentions. Perception and intention are often different. As a side note though sit down and talk to him or maybe suggest a counselor but I would have issues if the person I was talking about marrying left for days after a fight. That may be how you deal with them but he might not so maybe find a compromise. Good luck but leave the friend alone.

Answer

I personally would not reach out to his best friend. Your boyfriend might not appreciate you bringing his friends into the middle of this, and it could end up causing more issues. I’d talk to your boyfriend directly if I were you, and if you need a third party opinion talk to your own best friend.

Answer

I wouldn’t talk to his friend. That’s weird.

Answer

No, going to his bestie is not a good idea. If his friend comes to you and gives advice, sure take it into consideration. But you don’t need to be the one to reach outside of the relationship. The answers are at home. Communication! But he’s right, if you leave for days, you aren’t ready to move forward to marriage. My husband is my world! We fight sometimes. But we can’t leave. There’s no where either of us can just go for a few days, and it wouldn’t be fair if we did. Saying “ok we need to pause, I’m going to take a walk.” And go around the block or something. I grab my dog and we just walk until it’s time to go home. Until I’m calm enough to listen to his side too. Both sides matter. Pause is an amazing word when disagreements get lost, and I’ve even started teaching my kids to use it when they see we need a break from the conversation. Communication is key hon. See what HE needs.

Answer

Absolutely do not go to his best friend. I understand you have no I'll intentions, but don't. That's only going to invite so much more drama into the situation. Friends are not meant to know all your relationship woes. Especially when it's you reaching out to your partner's friends. Huge just don't do it.

Should I get advice from my boyfriend’s best friend?

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