My ex and I broke up about two months ago. He started having a midlife crisis and because of all that started fearing that he couldn’t commit anymore and was afraid to keep making promises.

Three weeks after we broke up he said he wanted to get back together and that it was a mistake. We talked for about a month but he was having the same problems. I know he had good intentions and I know he’s just a little lost right now and confused. He needs to figure out who he is before anything.

We called it quits two days ago.

I wrote a letter saying that I’ll always love him and that we need to figure ourselves out first. I said if we never get back together I wish him nothing but the best in life but if we do find ourselves missing each other in the future after we’ve found ourselves I’ll still be open to reconnecting and trying again. He sent me a text saying pretty much the same.

My problem is I don’t understand how we dont work right now. We always had fun when we were together. We had the same humor, same political beliefs. We were always goofing around with each other and laughing. On top of that we had the same vision for our futures. Same ideas for houses and families and pets and land. Same visions for vacations and even down to how close we want to stay connected with our families. I also know that he could see a future with me. One of the reasons he said he felt like we had to break up was as he said “I know if we keep dating I’m going to want to get married and have kids ASAP but I shouldn’t just be focused on that. I should be focusing on finishing college and finding a job.”

I don’t understand how we can be so good together, have the same vision for our future, and see a future together so clearly, but still not work??

I feel like he’s my person. The only problem is he’s afraid to commit right now and I fully believe he’s just a little lost in life (theres a lot of reasons but I don’t want to get into all that). I know he needs to find himself and figure out what he wants in life.

Maybe we’re meant to be and I have to give it time? Maybe this is the end even if I can’t wrap my head around it?