I HAD to ask him/what do you think?

Okay so the other day I was having so much pain in my vagina/cervix. It felt like I was being ripped apart. Then a few hours later it just stopped and hasn’t hurt since then. There’s been no other pain or symptom. My first thought was my IUD, so I called my gynecologist.

Here’s the thing. I actually can’t go to my gynecologist until I’ve finished quarantine. I JUST got over having covid. I told them that and that I called to ask what to look out for if my IUD starts trying to escape or something.

She asked me “how old are you?” And I said 24 and she asked if I’m monogamous and I said yes I’ve been in the same relationship for 6 years.

She said “the first thing that came to mind was an STD.”

Okay well, I haven’t been with anyone else or even came close. The only way I would have gotten anything is if my SO cheated on me. I was tested less than a year ago when I got my IUD because they require a full std panel before they insert the IUD.

She told me to call back after I’m done with quarantine to make an appointment for testing.

We are on the rocks right now, he treated me like crap when my grandmother died a little over a month ago and when I could emotionally deal with him I dumped him. I needed to heal before I could do anything else. My grandma was my best friend and died in my hands. I couldn’t go home and dump my SO immediately after that. I don’t feel bad about that either.

This was driving me insane. I need to know if I have anything to worry about. In a normal world i would just immediately go to my gynecologist and have a full screening done but this isn’t a normal world this is a pandemic. So I can’t. I just have to wait for 2 weeks wondering if I have an STD.

So I straight up asked him tonight. I have anxiety and fear about this so there was no room to be rude or angry. I calmly explained why I was asking, and asked him if he had slept with someone else and then slept with me. I needed to know if I had something to worry about.

I thought that if he did cheat, he wouldn’t tell the truth because he wants to be with me. So I was depending on him being defensive and getting angry and accusing ME of cheating to tell whether or not he was lying.

he calmly and simply said “no, not from me. Of course not.” And then just left it at that.

No anger, he didn’t get defensive at all.

And then I said “okay, that’s all I needed to know. I will still be going to get tested at my doctor.”

He said “okay.” And that was the end of it.

What do you think? I feel like he’s telling the truth and I feel like I can finally breathe. I was with him for SIX years I know what it looks like when he lies but I also didn’t expect him to treat me like garbage when my grandmother was dying infront of me.

And yes I was telling him the truth. When quarantine is up, the first thing I’m doing is going to my gyno to have a full screening and to make sure my IUD is still where it should be because I’m still afraid it lodged itself into my cervix.

He’s asking for counseling, which im not totally against. 6 years of living with someone is a looong time. 6 birthdays 6 Christmas’s and I am I’m only 24. and honestly I don’t know what to do. I explained to him in every which way why he was wrong to say the things he said to me in a time of desperate need and how it was extremely damaging. When she was dying, I was on a short rope. My emotional fuse was burnt out. I lit into his ass. and he had fully apologized, but it wasn’t enough. “I don’t want to sit here with you and wait for your grandma to finally die.”

That was it for me. I couldn’t say that then, but that was it.

If this test comes back with an STD, I will be taking out the trash. Hypothetically, I’m sorry but cheating is one thing.

If he came home to me and had sex with me after, completely disrespecting my health and me as a person, He will see a side of me he doesn’t know exists. ✨ thats all I’m going to say.