Am I Wrong for This?

Long post.

To sum it up I just got out of a domestic violence relationship about two months ago. I was with him for 8 years. He was an alcoholic who became violent toward me in front of my Baby and while I was pregnant. he and his family are really toxic. We have two boys, a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I was given full custody. But our court meeting was virtual and they are having trouble finding the orders so I can get copies.

When we were together he was not really involved with the Babies. I have been taking care of them since they were born. We use to stay with him and his parents on the weekends. But the only thing he did was sometimes he gave me $200 to help get some of the things my oldest needed but that wasn't much. And sometimes took us to the park and pushed him on the swing. Then he began drinking every night. yelling at our toddler constantly, calling him a "spoiled little bitch", and telling me to hit him in the mouth all the time. He would get blackout drunk and become violent toward me in front of our child.

Now we have been broken up for two months and now that he has another girlfriend he has started acting different. Our infant turned a year old and their father didn't know. He called me in the middle of the night to chew me out because I didn't remind him that it was his birthday. Etc.

Last time I tried to let him visit with my oldest they spoke to him it lasted about 20 minutes. He asked my 3 year old about when we use to go to his house and when my son told him that he can't go there anymore he started yelling at me in front of him saying that he had rights and I couldn't tell the children they can't go over there.

I am not sure if it is right for me to feel this way but tonight my children's grandmother on their fathers side came by to give my oldest son a present from his father. While she was here she took pictures of both of my children and left. It bothered me so I called and asked if she could please ask me first before taking pictures. And if we could find a way where just the grandparents could see them without the father there so it's not so stressful on them and they have time together but she made it a big deal like I wasn't going to let him see them anymore. And that she didn't know that her talking about him going to her house would trigger me and that I can't blame their father when I'm at fault too. She said that she never had to ask for permission to take pictures before. And everyone is just trying to move forward from what happened.

They act like I'm trying to be a bitch or be petty. And maybe the way I feel is wrong but I feel like he doesn't deserve pics of them because he doesn't do anything for them. It's just a toxic situation and it's emotionally draining.