Am I the asshole or not?

Question

So me and my boyfriend started dating in long distance in September. He lives in the US and I live in the EU. Since covid hit we couldn’t meet (like ever). He is self-employed so he do sneaker drops and stocks. Recently he lost almost all his money on stocks because of a wrong choice. And previous that incident we had a bigger talk about our relationship and how I want to talk less about work and more about other stuff. So he basically ignores me since he lost his money and being in a bad mood. He isn’t even texting back. He only called me on FaceTime “I just wanted to see you” then he kept quite all the time when I tried to initiate conversation and only was able to get words back from him when he talked about how stupid he was trusting himself on that choice and all. After our call I had a nightmare that he committed suicide and texted him immediately that I woke up crying because of that. He only replied “You wouldn’t miss me”. I told him I would be lonely and I would miss him. Got nothing back and got nothing back for my good morning text either.
On regular basis we FaceTime every day and talk for hours and always he is the more needy one. Am I the asshole for starting to get upset at him only crying over his loss and ignoring me when I told him I’m always here for him? Can I even be upset at him ignoring me? Not replying to me unless it’s his concern?

Answer

Your dating someone you’ve never met? Don’t know if I’m reading the post correctly..

Answer

I think you should reconsider what this relationship does for you. It’s easy for people to say “he should be able to talk about what he wants” or “of course he’s ignoring you if you don’t want to listen to his problems”.
In reality, relationships are give and take. And you should consider if this relationship taking too much from you and/or not giving enough. You’re entitled to feel the way you feel, as long as you’re not hurting anyone else. If you feel like you’re not getting what you need out of your conversations; such as you both sharing about your work life, struggles and happy moments, then honestly, cut your losses. You deserve to have the relationship you want. 
Additionally, its important to keep in mind that there’s a lot of uncertainty right now, and losing a lot of money like that during this time could be devastating. Remember, relationships are about give and take. That’s not always 50/50 every single moment. Sometimes you have give more if your SO is going through hard times. Ask yourself, “if I were depressed, what would I need/want?” Would I want him to listen to me? Are we in a place in our relationship where I’m in a position to support another person, or are we still in the begging stages? Any answer to those questions is valid, you can still do what’s best for you while keeping others in mind. 
Hope this helps. :)

Answer

Well he’s obviously stressed out and going through a really hard time and you told him you don’t want to be bothered with it pretty much. No wonder he’s ignoring you. Work is a big part of life. If you can’t share your stresses of work that’s a issue.

Answer

Honestly im kinda going thru the same but my bf was in the army and it was very hard but he would act the same way. Trust me i know it sucks but you arent in the wrong. Some men can be very selfish to their own needs and feelings but get offended when u speak on what bothers you personally. It sucks

Answer

I feel like he should be able to talk about what he wants? If work is what’s on his mind then you should want for him to get it out.

Am I the asshole or not?

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