The father of my 2 girls and I broke up in dec 2018. Now two years later things have only gotten worst. He is 100% narcissistic. He refuses to make an effort for my kids but will text me toxic bullshit everyday and tell our town that I’m the one keeping them from him and lies about me. The times he has taken them 3 times this year he did not put their safety first at all and doesn’t see a thing wrong. He believes his own lies and continues to try and ruin my life. He worries more about me, my life and what I’m doing, guys I’m seeing more than our kids. I’ve tried to block him, ignore him, not let it bother me, but the more I do so the more worst things get. It’s gotten to the point where i hear from him and I’m sad and depressed the rest of the day, I hear things his been telling others (mutual friends) and I instantly feel down, I feel like this will be my life forever and I’m stuck, that life’s unfair. My friends and family are well aware with what’s happening but they don’t understand how depressed and down I really am, especially when I’m the one who everyone else comes to for support and help so they see me as strong and wouldn’t for a second think I’d feel as bad as I do. I honestly feel my life is fcked! I think about death and dying more than I ever had before. Suicidal thoughts enter my mind a lot, not to the point where I actually would do it or consider doing it but it’s on my mind most days. I try to stay strong for my 2 kids but it’s hard and on our bad days makes it even harder to get through when I’m doing this all alone. Some days I try my hardest to pull through & it’s exhausting and other days I struggle, I cry, I’m angry and snappy I just wish I could stay in bed all day and I don’t want to be like this anymore 😢