Counseling promise

My husband left the night before thanksgiving because he didn’t like my question. He sent a text saying that he’d just stay out of the way.

Thanksgiving day, my kids, wanted to wait until he returned before we ate. My oldest assumed that he was at work, while my youngest kept asking me to text him to see when he’s coming.

I text my husband and asked if he was going to eat with us and if not, he needs to say something to the kids and to stop leaving it all on me.

He responded, “You want me to tell the kids I’m not coming home in a text message. Ok.”

Few minutes later, he sent me the message he had sent to my oldest.

The next day he came to the house to get his clothes and told my ten year old that he was moving out. I didn’t know this until I walked up front and saw my son crying. A few hours go by and he comes back to the house and tells me that he doesn’t understand me, but he doesn’t want to lose everything. He called all four kids to the room and apologized and said that he’d go to counseling.

His counseling appointment is scheduled for today and he’s still at work. I don’t want to keep doing this.

Additional: My question was a follow-up to something he had said. No matter the question or statement, if it goes against what he says, there’s a problem. Monday, he went out of town for his job. I hadn’t heard from him since that morning. I text that evening and asked if the plant had a rule about phones. Told me it was fine and that he was just busy. I had already checked his location, and it placed him at a restaurant. So, not at work doing the things he was saying at that moment. I was accused of trying to catch him in a lie and just trying to find something to be mad about. When I didn’t answer his calls, he called my oldest son to get him to pass me his phone. Putting kids in the middle, yet again. He’s been laying on the couch since he got off from work, but hasn’t said one word to me.

I told him last month that our oldest had mentioned how he had been feeling and that he felt bad cause his dad was always in the living room by himself. I reassured my son that I wasn’t isolating his dad and that the couch is where he chose to be while we work on things. Told my husband all of it and that we needed to go to counseling ASAP. He got mad at me and asked why counseling was needed.

I honestly think that him calling all the kids in that day, was to intentionally make it seem as if he was doing all he can for the marriage and that I was the problem. Driving a wedge between me and my kids.