Help please

My daughter is 19 weeks old. I am struggling with postpartum.

It honestly comes in waves. When she is fussy I feel frustrated. Then I hate myself for being mad. My son is two years old so my hands are full but I never feel overwhelmed by my son..... I’m pretty sure it’s just the postpartum but there are times I feel like letting go and not dealing with it and not being sad anymore.

My dr said I scored “high” on my postpartum depression assessment at my one follow up appt. it was suppose to be held at 6 weeks but my dr rescheduled twice so my one and only appt was at 9 weeks postpartum. Even with my results my dr didn’t prescribe anything and because of covid said there was no in persons supports they could recommend.

I feel like I’m drowning. What are moms suppose to do? Why do babies have so much follow up but moms don’t matter once we deliver?