UPDATE #2!!! Baby has covid due to grandfather’s negligence

I just spent the entire day at a university children’s emergency hospital with my 4 month old. She tested positive for COVID on Friday and I haven’t slept ever since her diagnosis. Today, her fever climbed and climbed despite taking Tylenol every 5-6 hours and she was breathing extremely hard and heavy (they call it labored breathing).

She’s an extremely healthy and chunky little girl, but with so little research done on covid, it’s very difficult to predict which way things will go. Her lungs ended up showing early signs of infection, so she was given steroids and nausea pills to help with her appetite. The doctor was fabulous and gave a positive prognosis. I do, however, have to say that the entire trip felt like I was living inside of a nightmare. I’m praying and praying; my baby and I are currently snuggled up in the guest room with 4 humidifiers around us. I don’t think I’ll ever get to sleep tonight either.

How did she get COVID?

I am a stay at home mom, currently, and am a journalist by trade. I still work from home but I don’t go into my office; haven’t since she was born. My family lives in New York City and I am stuck living down south. My husband is a small business owner and works primarily from the house, but does frequent his shop. His family is local, or at least his dad is. When I say we have not had visitors or social events since the pandemic started, I TRULY mean it. Not a single person from either side has seen our baby in person. We are a hyper paranoid germaphobe couple. I was very proud of our pandemic safety as a family.

Unfortunately, my father in law is a COVID denier. He’s the type who staunchly believes the vaccines contain microchips for frivolous government agendas. He feels that the masks are humiliating and emasculating. He loves to mock his son for abiding by state/federal laws and CDC guidelines and to use homophobic slurs as descriptive language for such regulations. Having a newborn during the pandemic has lead me to despise him.

Of course, he decided to show up and hover at my husband’s shop last week(one of his favorite hobbies) Monday with no mask, a mild fever, and a cough (he was not tested, and refused as apparently some government conspiracy theorist advises not to). Next thing we know, my husband is running a fever, coming down with a cough and testing positive for COVID. My daughter came down with it 3 days later.

Somehow, while I cried in the examination room this evening waiting for X-ray results, my mother in law found it appropriate to let me know that “[father in law] took medicine for his cough, so there is no possible way he could have been contagious.” She didn’t hesitate to use colorful vocabulary to describe my beliefs about the spread of the virus as well. I guess my husband had contacted her earlier to explain that he felt he caught the virus from his father, and somehow she deduced from there that I needed to be told off. My head was going to explode. You read that right, my mother in law is genuinely convinced that because her ex (!!!) husband “took medicine,” he actually CURED his potential COVID. @CDC @Cuomo @Pfizer @Faucci... my father in law has the cure for COVID!!!

Jokes aside, I lost my mind today. I have never felt such an intense anger towards a family member. I’m tempted to ban my father in law from seeing his grandchild indefinitely, but what would you guys do?

Edit: NO, my husband did not let him stay at the office all week. I was not very specific and I apologize. FIL showed up on Monday of last week, no mask, coughing, etc. Husband told him to leave, so the two ended up in an argument. We found out later through another one of his relatives, after announcing my husband’s test results, that the guy was running a fever on that particular day, but would not get a test done. We can’t imagine how else my husband and baby caught the virus.

And yes my husband got tested just under 48 hours, pre-symptoms, after his father’s visit. The shop is now closed. Any more questions?

My husband had also been quarantining in the master bedroom after contact with his father, avoiding contact with his daughter. I brought meals to the door for him. Baby still unfortunately caught it. Again, any more questions? I understand I was not entirely clear, and I apologize, but jeez! So many assumptions hurled at my husband.

UPDATE: I sent an email to both of my in laws, explaining that I will not be willing to engage with them, including allowing them to see their granddaughter, until I receive what I see fit as a genuine apology for their negligent actions and disrespect towards my family. I didn’t receive a response yet, but I did receive a call from my husband’s older sister. My sister in law attacked me for being “harsh” on them, and told me I look crazy. I explained that I really don’t care. I’ve never engaged in their family drama before, but this time it’s personal.

PS— not singling out anyone in particular, but to anyone who may or may not have decided to comment something suggesting I “move on” or get over it:

I mean this in the most disrespectful way possible, take your unsympathetic and miserable self away from women’s posts about their sick babies. I hope no one says “oh well” in regard to any of your beloved family members’ illnesses. My baby spent all day in the hospital and is very sick. It doesn’t take a PHD to understand that the last thing I need to hear right now is apathetic language of that nature. I’m doing the best I can here, but it’s a little difficult to “ move on” when my tiny girl is suffering and my entire conglomerate of in laws denies her condition as any concern.

UPDATE #2: my baby is still running a low-ish fever of 100.3, but she had her follow-up today. Her congestion is clearing up, and her appetite is improving. Thank you so much for your collective concern. I’m so thankful to have received well-wishes and even prayers from some of you, even though you don’t personally know my family. Unfortunately now I’m sick, but I’d take that over my baby still feeling as miserable as she did earlier this week. It’s good to see that some of the ignorant people either deleted their comments, or were flagged and deleted by this app. I’d never wish this experience even on my worst enemy, so I’m glad that some of the dismissive comments were taken down. Sending love and health to everyone.

I’m now the “crazy daughter/sister in law” in a lot of my husband’s family’s eyes. Whatever. They can stay away. I still thankfully have the love and support from my husband.