So, just today at around noon ish my closet guy friend admitted he had feelings for me. Let me explain something before I get into it: we had "dated" back in 8th grade (I'm a freshman in high school btw) but I never really considered it an actual relationship because we 1) never kissed, 2) never held hands, 3) and only went on one date over the course of a year and a half. Anyways I broke it off because I was bored and unsatisfied, and we remained distant friends for the rest of the year. Blah blah blah...fast forward to the last few months. We rarely see each other, but we have become way closer and I was happy because despite our past we had become close friends (he's a really cool guy, but I've been struggling with my sexuality for a VERY long time and idk if I even like guys--plus, he's just not my type). We play video games together with some of my other friends, text every few days, etc. Basically, he's one of my closest friends. That is, until today!

I was helping him with math homework when he said something kind of random and weird. I asked him why he said it and then he just,,,left me on read. So I was like okay whatever, and then like 5 min later he texts me this long paragraph about how he still likes me after all this time. I'll also mention that when I broke it off with him I felt EXTREMELY guilty, I felt like actual shit for two weeks afterwards bc I thought that I was a bad person for dumping him. Anyways, I was kind of pissed because it had taken so long for us ro rebuild a good relationship and he had just...kinda ruined it? I mean I don't rlly wanna be friends with someone who still has a phat crush on me, it's hella awkward and uncomfortable. So I told him that I was mad and then he just,,, hasn't responded? Basically I lost one of my closest friends today and idk how to feel about it.

Idk why I'm posting this I guess I just needed to rant. Advice is welcome!

Ji

This is the text he sent me btw ^^