Who is wrong here?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. Any time I have to leave his house (even if it’s really late or I’ve been there for hours) or change plans on him when we were supposed to hang out (which is not frequent), he gets upset and acts like I’m leaving him forever. We see each other almost everyday. I have to wake up at 7am for work everyday so when I’m at his house on weekdays, I like to get to sleep by the latest 2am so I can get some sleep and then go home around 3:30am. I live at home with my parents about 8 minutes away from my boyfriends house and I like to get home before my dad gets home from work at 4am for many reasons, I don’t want him to know how late I was out although he doesn’t mind it (I’m 22 but I feel guilty about it for some reason), and I don’t want to have a conversation when I’m tired. 
Anyway last night I told my boyfriend I wanted to go back to my house at 3:30am so I could get home before my dad. We planned on cuddling that night and he said he would go to bed with me at 2am but he has severe ADHD and always ends up having time management problems (he is medicated). He spent 6 hours that I was there putting up a few Christmas decorations (there were only like 3 to put up), playing his guitar and organizing. I fell asleep around 2am. At 3:30 I got up to go home right when he was getting ready to lay down with me. 
He got very upset and very angry in his tone of voice and asked me to stay until 5am so we could cuddle. I told him no because of my dad and I need to get some sleep because at this point I’m only going to get 3 hours of sleep for work and I only got about an hour of sleep at his house because I kept waking up while he was doing stuff around his room. He then said that he can’t get anything done while I’m sleeping in his bed because he has to tiptoe around so he doesn’t wake me up. He didn’t seem to care about whether or not I got any sleep and was being very inconsiderate - not because he was doing stuff around his room but because he has unrealistic expectations about when I go home.  All he cared about was cuddling and even though he had hours and hours to do it. There have been many times where lost sleep with him has caused me to almost fall asleep at the wheel. 
His anger made me upset because he was making it my fault that we didn’t get around to cuddling when I was the one waiting for him all night. It seems like he lacks empathy for me needing sleep. He started throwing out all kind of accusations like I don’t like being at his house, I always leave early (3:30am is not early, I never notice things he does for me etc.) Here were the texts that followed when I got home. His initial texts were not the way he was treating me in person. 
I would like to add he temporarily isn’t currently working so he doesn’t have to be up at a certain time.

Answer

I’m still confused why you need to leave at 3am? Either don’t stay that late or don’t go home before work. 
This whole thing seems like a weird problem to have.

Answer

Why not just stay the night? Your a grown adult no way in hell I would be going out a 3 am just to make some one else happy 😂😂.

Answer

I'm sorry but this is an absolutely ridiculous conversation. To me he clearly doesn't value or respect your time. This routine you got going on not sustainable long term.
He tried to be sweet, then guilt tripped you, then we briefly saw his true colours. 
I'm sorry but he sounds like he has issues, personally and with his attitude towards you. 
You sound really sweet but I think you need to stick up for yourself and set boundaries that suit you. Otherwise bye bye 👋

Answer

Maybe I’m wrong here, but are you Hispanic? I know my ass would want to be home before my parents woke up to get ready for work because I just don’t want to hear them say anything (even if it wasn’t a “problem” per say. I think that’s what people might not understand. 
But I think you should be firm and honestly be more realistic in what time you go home. Either talk with your parents and just stay at his house the whole night or tell him you’re going home at 11 or so. Waking up all the time at 0330 and just getting 5 hours of sleep just seems exhausting and unrealistic to keep up long term. 
Tell him how you feel and come to some sort of agreement. If he can’t handle that and lashes out then he has deeper issues that you guys need to work through.

Answer

I guess my confusion with this is why you don’t just stay the whole night? You said your dad doesn’t mind, you’re a grown adult & you seem to work normal hours? 7-3 probably?? So I guess what I’m not understanding is why you don’t just stay the night & get a regular amount of sleep through the entire night? 
That way you’re both able to cuddle each other & get sleep. Like it makes no sense to me as to why you would keep yourself up almost all night & specifically leave at 3:30 & out yourself in harms way by falling asleep at the wheel or something. Like this entire story makes no sense to me. No one is necessarily wrong but it just kind of seems like YOU could schedule your time more thoroughly to where it actually makes sense & you have a normal schedule. Kind of just seems like you put yourself in this situation with the weird schedule you have??

Answer

I think it’s weird he’s trying to guilt-trip you about when you leave with the whole “you don’t consider my place home 😞” stuff...you guys are gonna have to sit down and talk about it one day. No way am I going to be getting 3 hours of sleep because my boyfriend wants to go back and forth with me at 4am. You both just need to sleep on it and come back to it when you’ve rested and calmed down

Answer

Set boundaries and stick to them. If you want to be home and get sufficient hours of sleep then that is your boundary. You can’t control how your bf acts and feels. You can’t control his anxiety or how he deals with it. You can only control what you do and how you respond. He will try to push at your boundary to get his way, it’s up to you to be consistent and put your foot down and teach him that he needs to respect you. Personally, I also wouldn’t have answered his texts once the tone became nasty. I wouldn’t engage when he guilts you, or makes you feel bad. You can’t reason with someone who is in an emotional space like that. Set boundaries!

Answer

He actually seemed really sweet throughout that thread 🥺 but then kind of freaked out at the end and got impatient. Does he have any sort of abandonment issues or separation anxiety? Maybe his meds need to be adjusted? His time management was brought up a couple times I think. Both of you sound like you really want to be heard in this relationship and it seems like it can be improved with more communication... keep having the conversations but do it in person. He seems like an overall genuine person but I can see how you feel like your health/well being isn’t really at the top of the list with him when it comes to getting a decent amount of sleep. 3:30 is definitely a random
Time to leave so I can see how that would throw a person off. Maybe you guys should set a new schedule or do that every other day, something that works for you both.

Who is wrong here?

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