How to tell my mom?

Question

Due to covid only one person is allowed during delivery. My husband said that is him. Culturally it’s always the mother (so my mom). No one in my mom’s side or dad’s side had a spouse in the delivery room. That being said, I don’t mind my husband being there with me. Both him and my mom were there with my first and my mom ended up fainting and blacking out- she was moved to a different room and my husband was with me. Since then she was there for my cousin when she was delivering and she didn’t faint that time. Now my mom is coming from another state to be here for me for my delivery. She doesn’t know that the hospital will only allow one person. I don’t know how to tell her she won’t be there? Any advice? I think she is going to be mad. She was already kind of mad about it during my first pregnancy that she and my husband were going to be there, she just felt awkward she had said.

Answer

I know it’s a culture thing but your Mom didn’t help make that baby, your husband did. It is yours and your husbands child and it’s you two who will raise the child together and care for them. I would explain to her that this is what you want. You would never ask for you husband to miss the birth of his child so your Mother can be present instead. This is a very sentimental moment you two should experience together.

Answer

Personally, I wouldn’t want anyone coming from a different state to see my newborn while covid is a thing. If in July I’m only allowed one person it will be my husband and even then I’m not sure I’d have anyone else there.

Answer

I would tell her now so she’s prepared.  Tell her the hospital has a rule that it’s spouse only for delivery due to covid restrictions.
Tell her she is really needed for the important job of caring for your older child so they can have someone they feel safe with while mom and dad are gone.
That should lessen the blow for her and hopefully prevent any drama. My hospital pre covid had no trouble being the bad guy. The nurses were like we are your bouncers and will Chuck anyone you don’t want out. If you don’t want someone to come we will call and tell them no lol. Maybe your L&D department would help you with that. She can’t be mad if the hospital tells her 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

It isn't your rule, it's the hospital's rule. It's not like you are intentionally excluding her. You had her there before when you were allowed. She should also understand that a woman should not choose her parents' preferences over her husband's wishes. He is your husband and your partner. If he wants to be there, (and obviously that's what you want as well), then that's that. Maybe she can watch your older one so she still feels helpful and that she's there for you. To be quite frank, if she's angry, that's HER responsibility, not yours. Beyond being respectful to your parents, their reaction is their ownership.

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Tell her that your husband is the only one allowed in the delivery room.

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You need to her ASAP. I totally get the cultural aspect of it as its similar in my culture but you cant take the birth of your husbands child away from him. Thats just unfair. Maybe as your husband to video as much as possible of it so you can share that moment with your mother. Or even Facetime your mother during delivery if thats possible!

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Im sure your partner would want to be there to see his child arrive.

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You can really only tell her straight up
I’ve told my mother I don’t want her in the room when I deliver and she’s super angry about it and it drives me insane because I’m just not comfortable with it. She even told me sheddress up as a doctor or nurse to be let in and I truly think her attitude is disgusting, I hope I can only have one person in the room, that way she can’t be around at all
Unfortunately your mother is just going to have to accept it

Answer

Just tell her🤷‍♀️ tell her u wish things were different but due to the pandemic only ur husband gets to accompany you during the birth. If she gets mad then that’s on her, u have no control over a virus that has caused the rules to change.

Answer

Don’t feel bad just be forward it’s his baby as much as yours she’s the grandparent 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think it’s always better to be upfront than try and soften the blow. Perhaps she will be upset to start but I’m sure when she comes to visit when your home she will forget about all that 🙂

How to tell my mom?

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