As we were watching one of my faves on TV “Love it or List it” (his idea bc he knew I hadn’t watched in a while) he was fast forwarding through the commercials and he paused it and got really excited and said “Oh I forgot to tell you, Hayden’s (his co-worker) fiancé is pregnant again!”. My heart literally just sunk. We have been trying for 9 months or so and 3 of our friends have already had babies, or announced they are expecting. I am so super thrilled for them beyond doubt, but I think tonight he noticed that when I just smiled and said “Well congrats to them for me” he was a bit confused. I’m usually this upbeat, hide your tears when someone on even a TV show, commercial or movie is pregnant, has a child or is about to but at the same time he doesn’t see that side of me or know that I cry in private or suck back tears when he’s not looking.

We haven’t told any of our friends we are trying and he won’t tell anyone bc he doesn’t feel it’s necessary so we don’t get questioned or pressure our family knows that we are working on it but that’s it (that’s pressure enough with my cousins asking me every month if I got my period 🙄).

Just needed a bit of a vent session as I know I’m not the only one who secretly cries about it wishing it was different and us instead.

And for the record, I love watching the pregnancy announcements page and the tests turn pink videos so it’s not really a jealousy thing, I am so super happy every woman who has those moments...💗 I think it’s just me wishing it was me when I hear others I know are pregnant so quickly. 🤷‍♀️